


be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart

by CarbonFootprint



Series: i am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Canon Divergence, Conquest Path divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I truthfully ship Takumi x happiness, Kinda, M/M, Major spoilers for Conquest path, Soulmates, Support Conversations, and spoilers for support convos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6437320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarbonFootprint/pseuds/CarbonFootprint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He heard his body shouting but he wasn't shouting. He felt his body moving, firing arrows from his Fujin Yumi, but he couldn't even stop himself anymore. He realized in abject horror that his body was no longer his own. Someone- no, something was controlling him and using him.<br/>It made him sick."</p><p>Conquest Path canon divergence in which no one dies and Takumi is saved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Conquest hurt me so bad and it still hurts over a month later so I had to make it better. 
> 
> The support conversations use here are combinations of parts I picked from both the English game version of the conversations and from the translation of the Japanese conversations. I honestly like the Japanese translations better because Takumi and Leo are far more nervous and embarrassed around each other (it's rly cute)

Takumi had never truly stopped fighting, but as time went on it seemed his fight was weaker. At first, it has just been minor pains in his head, something that couldn't even be called a headache. He ignored it. There was a war to be fought. His pains weren't important.

By the time he was trying to stop Corrin and her Nohrian assault from reaching the Hoshidan capital, the pain was so bad it was blinding. He heard his body shouting but he wasn't shouting. He felt his body moving, firing arrows from his Fujin Yumi, but he couldn't even stop himself anymore. He realized in abject horror that his body was no longer his own. Someone- no, something was controlling him and using him.

It made him sick.

 _No_ , he thought desperately as his body launched an arrow at Corrin. She avoided it but he had still fired it.

_No, no! Stop!_

Corrin had betrayed them, but he wanted to beat Corrin as himself. He wouldn't allow his corrupted mind to take that victory. He didn't even know if he wanted to take that victory anymore.

"It's over, Takumi!" Corrin yelled, "Stand down and we won't have to kill you! No one has to die, brother!"

He heard himself say something, his own voice demonic in his head. That wasn't him. He didn't want to say that.

_Stop. Let me- Sister- Corrin-!_

He still couldn't speak. He was drowning, dying, being plunged and forced into all-consuming darkness.

_No... No, I can't- I'm not meant for this fate._

He managed to hold on even as his body was launched off the wall. Whatever was controlling him didn't take too lightly to his persistence. He refused to let go however. He wouldn't not let himself go in such a pathetic way. He stayed quiet as the being inside his head controlled him. He needed to hone his strength. He had to break free.

The next time he was cognizant, he was standing in the Hoshidan throne room. King Garon was dead, but the evil inside him still persisted, angry and vile and hungry for bloodshed. Ryoma had been brought down by a spell from the Nohrian Mage prince, but it had been a ruse and he was still alive.

Ryoma couldn't beat him in another thing even if that thing was deciding between life and death. He wouldn't let Ryoma win. Maybe it was immature, a childish need to best his brother or at least be on par with him, but he refused to die here even as his body roared for Corrin's demise, aiming a bright arrow at her from his bow.

_No._

That was his weapon. The Fujin Yumi was his.

That was his bow and he would not allow some monster to use it. The Fujin Yumi chose him to wield it. He was the bow's master. It was his destiny to use it, his birthright, his fate.

_Stop!_

The light in the bow died down to nothing, the arrow disintegrating into the air.

"No... mY FUjIn yUmi." He heard his own body hiss the words in a hollow voice that wasn't his own.

_It's my Fujin Yumi._

"NO!" His voice roared it out, and he saw Corrin hold her ground even as her Nohrian sisters stepped back. The Nohrian Prince with the tome stayed standing besides Corrin as well, his eyes only narrowing at the sight before them.

"Takumi," Corrin said softly. He heard her voice quiver despite the muffled nature of his own hearing from where he was trapped in his own consciousness.

"Your brother is not gone, sister," Prince Leo said, "Prince Takumi may be salvageable yet."

"I may be able to help," Azura murmured, stepping forward from behind Corrin, "My song can weaken whatever is controlling him, but you have to force it out."

"How?" Corrin asked desperately, "Physically?"

"Yes, unfortunately," Azura sighed.

"But that alone could kill him!"

"At least, if he does succumb, he will die as himself," Prince Leo cut in, "I will do it, sister, if only to take the weight from your shoulders."

Azura started singing before Corrin could argue and it _hurt_.

The sound used to be so sweet to Takumi whenever Azura sung for her Hoshidan siblings when they were growing up together.

Now though, now it was just searing. His entire body was screaming, a deep coiled pain that started in his core and spread everywhere in his entire form. He registered that his body was screaming as he was screaming inside his own head.

His voice cracked as his own screams of pain broke through and he dropped his bow to the ground, grasping at his head as his vision flashed and blurred and spun. Whatever was in him would not relinquish control that easily, but his sister, his sisters were trying to save him.

_They want to save me._

_They love me._

_They need me._

_They want me to live._

Magic hit him then, and it was like no magic he had ever experienced. Prince Leo's sacred tome was certainty powerful, but it was no ordinary magic.

It was life and the earth. While his Fujin Yumi represented the freedom of the air, the light flow of the winds, Brynhildr was the earth, strong and sturdy, a source of life rather than death.

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, screaming as whatever had control over him shattered completely, violently wrenching itself from his body. He couldn't scream anymore. His throat locked up. His entire body froze. He felt he could barely breathe, but what he could drag into his lungs he was breathing of his own volition. His heart was beating and it was his own. His soul was his own.

Corrin reached him on the ground and her Nohrian siblings rushed over too. Any urge left in him to call them the "Nohrian scum" they were had left his body. They had saved his life. His sisters- Corrin and Azura - and Prince Leo of all people had saved him.

He was alive.

He was so tired.

"Takumi? Takumi?" Corrin was calling to him, shaking his shoulder gently where he lay on the ground. He couldn't move. He was too tired, too weak from the control. He forced his eyes open and he saw Prince Leo kneeling at his side. The blond prince looked as obnoxious as he always did, but there was something different about his eyes. His eyes held worry, concern, and maybe that was meant for Corrin, but Leo's eyes were on him, connected with his own.

Prince Leo had saved him.

That was the last thought that passed through his mind before he greeted the blackness.

* * *

 

"We might as well get this out of the way. You are I are not going to be friends." Leo was curt with most of the words they had shared before, but these hurt more for some reason. Perhaps because Takumi had been hoping that Corrin was right and that her Nohrian brother could become a friend to him.

Prince Leo was truly insufferable though. There was no way around it.

"What a coincidence!" Takumi forced a laugh from his throat, a harsh sound that didn't even sound like himself, "I was just thinking the same thing."

"Of course you were. You have such an arrogant attitude and-"

"Me? I'm not the one going around patronizing everyone! You're the jerk!" Takumi countered, knowing he probably sounded as childish as could be, but Prince Leo was certainly as childish. They were both young, almost too young for the war going on around them, but the war made them headstrong and defiant. They had to fight everything to feel just some semblance of control.

"Is that the best you can do?" Leo sneered, his voice acidic as his lip curled into a haughty smirk, "You sound like a whiny, little brat. Just as expected. Let's make a deal. You stay away from me and I'll stay away from you. Think you can manage?"

Takumi felt himself recoil at bit at Prince Leo's words. Gods, he truly was insufferable, but he forced out a huff, narrowing his eyes, "I'm not going to let you boss me around like that! Good-bye!" With that, he turned on his heel and stormed away. He thought he heard Prince Leo muttering something under his breath as he left, but he didn't want to give Leo the satisfaction of looking back.

This was supposed to be _different_.

The thought echoed through his mind and he stopped walking. Suddenly the hall he was standing in was pure blackness and he couldn't remember what he was even doing there. He had been talking to Leo, Prince Leo, the blond Mage who had-

He had done _something_.

He closed his eyes and breathed. There was nothing he could do in that moment. It registered in his mind that maybe whatever was going on wasn't real.

He didn't know where he was or why he was there.

_Am I dead?_

He figured his mother would be there if he was dead rather than an insufferable Nohrian prince that Corrin had chosen over him.

_Corrin._

He wondered where Corrin was. He only saw Prince Leo in his head. The names and faces of anyone else around were muffled to his ears and obscured from his sight.

He was trapped somewhere and he didn't know where. He wondered if Prince Leo was trapped too or just there by choice. It was puzzling and exhausting. Takumi was tired, so tired, and the blackness around him told him to rest. He had to rest his mind and his body and his heart, and that was okay because something about this place was safe. He was safe.

After a while, a sound brought him back from the black. Rather, it was a voice, and a voice he recognized at that.

"I can't believe they said that to me. I have nothing in common with that imbecile."

It was Leo's voice, and Takumi knew that maybe he should be cross at the fact that the other prince was likely talking about him, but he didn't feel that emotion as much as he wished he could.

"Just because Prince Takumi and I are both royalty doesn't mean we're anything alike. Ugh!"

"Muttering to yourself, Prince Leo?" It wasn't like he had snuck up on Leo. It was like he had suddenly been placed there, inserted into whatever reality Leo was talking to himself in. It was amusing really, and a bit sad. Takumi often found himself lonely, no one to talk to but himself, but he still pressed on, "What's the matter? Couldn't find anyone else willing to talk to you?" It was a good comeback he supposed and he wanted to laugh normally rather than cynically at the grimace on Leo's face.

"You!" Leo nearly snarled, "I didn't know you were there. Why were you eavesdropping?" The frown on Leo's face was so defined, his brows furrowed and brown eyes darkened, but Takumi felt nothing but lightheartedness towards him in that moment. He didn't know why, but it was a good feeling.

"Well, it all sounded a bit too familiar," he said slowly, the words coming to him without thought. What sounded familiar? He didn't truly know, but he kept talking anyway, "It seems we've both been hearing that same joke for a while." Were they similar? He didn't know.

It would be nice to have someone like him, someone who had been living in a shadow their whole life. Someone who struggled to live up to a father and older brother and older sister. Someone who struggled to be as loved as a younger sister. Someone who was desperate to be good at something, to be noticed.

"They're calling us 'the twins,'" Leo continued, huffing as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, "We can't let them treat is this way! They're wrong!" Takumi truly had no idea of who "they" were or who was suggesting things about them until he suddenly did. Yes, of course, all around their camp people had been whispering, joking, laughing about the two younger princes. They were so alike, so similar, they simply had to be friends.

They _had_ to be friends.

"Of course they are," Takumi said like it was obvious, "You and I couldn't be more different!"

"Naturally!" Leo huffed, averting his gaze for a long moment before he looked over more sheepishly, "B-by the way, can I- ask you one thing?"

"Wh-what?" Takumi’s voice caught for a moment, thrown by the sudden change in atmosphere from the other prince.

"Prince Takumi, what's your favorite food?"

His favorite food? What was his- miso soup, of course, that was it. He loved miso soup. He had always loved it ever since he was a little boy and- and Corrin was still part of their family.

He still loved it.

He still loved _her_.

"Well, I like miso soup…"

"Miso soup?" Leo echoed, his eyes narrowing in curiosity instead of in the distaste that Takumi had imagined would cross his features.

"Yeah," Takumi hummed, a smile coming to his lips, "It’s a dish where you put miso and slices of dried bonito in broth, season it, and boil it with some vegetables and tofu," he recited easily. It was natural to him. His mother had taught him how to create the dish. All his siblings knew, but they knew he enjoyed it most. His mother had made it for him whenever he was sick or hurt. She had made it whenever he was sad and it would always help.

She was gone now though.She wouldn’t be there to make it for him again. He would have to grow up, to work through his sadness and worries and insecurities alone. The thought was daunting and his heart ached. He wanted her back, but she was gone.

"What's the matter?" Leo suddenly asked and Takumi looked up quickly, shaking his head.

"Nothing, why do you ask?"

"You just- you looked... Sad, just for a moment."

"I'm alright," Takumi clarified softly, smiling even though his thoughts saddened him.

"Well um," Leo cleared his throat, "I like soups and stews. To get to the point, they are dishes involving meat and vegetables in a seasoned broth. In other words, it’s close to your- miso soup," he said slowly,

"Wait, what?" Takumi gasped, blinking at Leo in surprise.

"W-well, what kind of books do you like?" Leo changed the topic quickly as if to avoid dwelling one just one similarity they had in a world of differences.

"Books, huh," Takumi said slowly, "I read plenty of books in general, but I’m particular to philosophy. The philosophers of old present theories that people today can’t even begin to think about. So I find them very fascinating." He remembered the hours he spent in the Hoshidan library, the shelves lined with more books and scrolls than he could ever hope to read. He loved it as a child before he could even read most of the books. It was dark and cool, quiet, and it smelled of ancient paper and the gentle incense burners that were usually lit near the lamps. In all of Castle Shirasagi, he loved the library. Ryoma seldom entered it. Hinoka was constantly training. Sakura sometimes came and took some book for her room, but otherwise it was his, a place that was his own. A place he could get lost and not feel worried about having to find his way back too quickly. A place where time and worry and war didn’t exist.

He wanted to go back there. He had to go back there.

_Soon._

"What in the world," Leo grumbled, "The same answer again?" Takumi resisted laughing at the embarrassing redness that had seeped into the tips of Leo's ears, but he was still smiling, more than it felt like he had smiled in so long, too long. He missed it. He missed happiness.

"So what about your favorite game? What are your hobbies?" Surely, Leo had never heard of shogi. He was from Nohr. Takumi knew there was no shogi in Nohr.

"I like chess," Leo stated, and Takumi felt his interest peaked, "It's a war game played with pieces on a board."

"That's-!" Takumi gasped, "That's what we call shogi!" He sounded more excited than he wished he did. He didn't want to open himself up entirely to the enemy, but in this place, wherever they were, they weren't enemies. It was as if they were neutral, on the same side, but the very notion seemed completely outlandish.

"Do you like this game, shogi, Prince Takumi?" Leo asked almost hesitantly.

"Whether I like it or not, I’m the best at it among the people I know," Takumi said, a hint of pride coming to his voice. He had bested Ryoma more times than he could count on shogi. It was one of he few things he was actually good at and he reveled in it, "I can’t believe we’re this much alike!" He smiled then, ducking his head a bit in sudden embarrassment, "I guess it wasn’t right to distrust each other without even having a conversation." The insults they had sent each other's way had been for naught. At least they hadn't wasted too much times being rude rather than realizing their similarities.

"What a coincidence… I just happened to be thinking the same thing," Leo’s lips curved into a smile rather than a smirk, his eyes brighter, "Shall we continue to compare tastes for a little while?"

"Y-yeah," Takumi stammered, suddenly feeling shy in the face of sharing so much with another person. Leo seemed to be so much like him though, so understanding of the things they shared. It would be nice to have someone like that, "There might actually be a lot of places where we can understand each other," he mumbled and Leo laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He couldn't feel it.

He couldn't feel Leo's hand. Leo's hand was there, on his shoulder, but he couldn't pull feeling from the touch. It was strange, but he understood the meaning of the gesture and he smiled anyway.

They talked for longer, and it seemed like time wasn't even flowing where they were. He was Leo were so alike, so similar and Takumi adored it.

There were more of the strange periods of darkness where Leo wasn't there, but Leo always came back, ready and shyly excited to speak more. They shared stories of childhood, first the happy memories and then the less happy ones. Takumi never truly understood the horror of being raised by a man like King Garon, but he knew he didn't like the way Leo's eyes darkened and his jaw set firm when talking about the man.

He'd never let Leo feel that like of pain again.

Leo understood his own struggles, the disjointed nature of his family when his father and Corrin were taken from them. Relationships had disintegrated. Hinoka loved her naginata more than she paid attention to him. Ryoma was pushed into politics so easily, and Sakura garnered the attention of their mother the most. He found some solace in Azura's love, but he still felt alone, betrayed by his family.

And then the betrayal had come again. Corrin had abandoned them.

But he had _hated_ Corrin. He should have understood. He should had loved her despite her decision. Leo told him he did love her; it was obvious to everyone. He loved her so much that her betrayal had hurt so much more than if he hadn't loved her with all his heart.

His heart.

His heart seemed so empty, so bare. Their father was gone, mother was gone, Corrin was gone, Azura was gone, Ryoma didn't care about him, Hinoka didn't know him. Everyone had left him. Everyone had abandoned him.

Leo was here though. Leo was constant. He was always there, waiting for him with a gentle smile and an outstretched hand.

"Thank you so much for sharing your miso soup recipe with me," Leo said after another short period of dark, "It truly was the best. The sweetness and saltiness- and that hint of flavor from the meat and seafood was absolutely appetizing!" He smiled and Takumi's heart soared. He had made Leo smile that way. He had made someone happy.

"If you were fond of it, that’s more than I could ask for," his own lips smiled up at Prince Leo, "That’s my favorite preparation of miso soup, but so many make it differently. Next time, you should tell me your favorite way to make the- the stew you enjoy," he said decidedly, "I cannot wait to try it."

"Yes, of course," Leo agreed easily, a smile on his own face, "At any rate, it seems we can have an honest conversation now, hm? All the insults we spat at each other seem to be a lie," he laughed sheepishly and some pink came to his cheeks.

"You’re right. We thought we would never see eye-to-eye, but friendship is a mysterious thing," he sighed. He stopped walking, not even realizing they had been leisurely strolling in the first place, "But, Leo... I- I think it would be folly to let our relationship end at ordinary friendship," he said softly, swallowing around the lump he swore had gathered in his throat. He had been waiting for a chance to say that for a while. Hopefully, Leo felt the same as they did on so many things.

"What a coincidence," Leo started, already smiling, "I was just about to say the same. I think we should let our bond strengthen the bonds between our countries of Hoshido and Nohr."

Wait, no, that wasn't right, was it? Well, it was. They could be a link between their kingdoms, a strong tie that held their lands together, but there had to be-

 _More_. There should be more.

"As fellow princes of Nohr and Hoshido," Takumi said nonetheless, "We’ll be a living example that our countries can get along. Once peace comes, I think I’d like to show that to our people." The thought alone made him smile. Hoshido and Nohr working together. Corrin could bring them together. He and Leo could bring them together.

"Well, if not all goes well, just give me a call. I’ll come running with a delicious soup recipe," Leo laughed, his brown eyes dancing and his voice filled with a teasing lilt.

Takumi laughed at that, throwing his head back even as Leo teased him, "I just wanted you to know. It won’t be an easy journey, but as someone who protects the people, I’d like to set the world on the right path."

"You have changed then," Leo said then, and it wasn't mean or condescending, it was just a fact, "Who knew you would be so willing to accept a truce between our people."

"Things change," Takumi said softly, "I mean, I have you, right? And- and my sister is a Nohrian as well."

"She's Hoshidan too," Leo countered gently and his hand came. up to graze Takumi's own. He almost thought he felt it then, but he couldn't really pinpoint it, "She didn't want to betray you. She never stopped being your sister."

Takumi could not speak after that. He had nothing left to say. Leo was right. Leo's words brought peace to his aching heart.

Leo disappeared after that, fading into the reoccurring darkness. He still didn't understand what it all meant or where he was exactly, but he got the general idea.

He was healing.

Slowly but surely, he was healing.

"I've been thinking about what you said," Leo said the next time he appeared. They were outside this time, but Takumi couldn't tell if it was Hoshido or Nohr they were standing in.

"About what?" Takumi asked, looking up at Leo curiously.

"About... About us," Leo murmured, "About how it would be folly to- to let this- what we have end as mere friendship. I don't think I quite understood you before."

"But you... You understand now?"

"I do," Leo nodded and he turned on the spot, facing Takumi rather than standing beside him, "If you were trying to say what I think we were trying to say, then yes, I agree."

"You... Agree?" Takumi questioned, confused but hopeful, his heart fluttering in his chest. Leo's face was flushed lightly, his cheeks a bit red and Takumi figured his face looked the same.

"Yes," Leo said, "I agree and, if you'd have me, I would- I would most like to explore what we could have together. I would like to- to try- loving you." He trailed off, his face a bright red at that point but this voice was strong. Takumi couldn't move, couldn't speak. His heart was suddenly beating so fast. He could feel it. There was a pull inside him, wanting him to move, to move closer to Leo, closer to the rest of his soul, closer.

"H-hey," Leo said shakily, reaching forward to cup his cheek, "Why are you crying?"

He was crying?

Why was he crying?

When did that-

How-

"I'm happy," he finally realized out loud, his voice cracking on the words, "I am truly happy, Leo. I haven't- I haven't felt this way in- in years I don't think..."

"I want you to feel this way," Leo smiled, his hand still on Takumi's cheek though he still couldn't feel if, "I want you to feel this way all the time."

"Then make me feel this way all the time," Takumi whispered, "Please. I want you to."

"I will," Leo said then before he leaned in and kissed him.

Leo was kissing him but there was nothing, no sensation, no warmth, nothing. He could feel himself trying, a desperate pull in his chest towards Leo, but physically he was dead.

"I can't," he whispered against Leo's lips, "I can't feel you doing that. Why can't I?"

"Because," Leo started, his voice low and sad, "Because you're asleep, Takumi. You've been asleep for quite some time now."

"I don't- Asleep?" Takumi choked out, "This is- a-a dream?"

"No, this is real to an extent, but you and I are not in the same place right now physically," he said slowly, "Because you- you're asleep, and you haven't woken up since the war. I want you to wake up so I can- so I can come to you and hold you like I want. So please, wake up soon, Prince Takumi. I'm waiting for you, and I'll keep waiting."

"Leo?" Takumi gasped as the other prince simply smiled and started to fade from his arms, "Leo! Leo, no! Come back!"

The darkness only greeted him, cold and empty without Leo.

"I want to wake up," he whimpered, "I have to... I need to. I want to wake up!" He shouted it out but nothing answers. There was nothing out there. He realized then that he was trapped in his own head.

How did he get this way?

There had been some sort of disconnect.

He hadn't been in control.

He wanted his body back.

He wanted his life back.

He wanted Leo back.

All he had was the waiting, the darkness inside what he could only assume was his own head. He was alone and in the dark and scared of never seeing Leo again or his family again.

There was a breach in the darkness what felt like an eternity later. It was just a tiny white light, floating in the immeasurable distance of the black.

He ran. He chased after it. He strived for it desperately because he had to get out. He had to wake up. He had to be real again.

He wanted to be alive again.

Slowly, his body came back to him. He felt softness all around him, pillowing his head and warming his body. He curled his fingers experimentally, finding purchase on cloth under him. The tiny movement was so difficult, so hard to do that he wondered if he was even waking up.

Light blinded into his eyes as he sluggishly opened them. He winced, whimpering at the light, trying to blink it away. Every movement seemed so slow, so difficult. He felt so weak and tired, but he wasn't trapped in the dark anymore. He was awake.

He didn't know where he was exactly. His vision was blurry with exhaustion.

There were voices outside. A door slammed open.

"Takumi!" His name. His name was being called and- he knew that voice. In a second, Ryoma's face filled his hazy vision, looming over him with worry and tears in his grey eyes. He had never seen Ryoma look so upset over him. He wondered what he'd done wrong.

"Ryo-" His voice stuck in his throat, his throat incredibly dry and hoarse with disuse. He coughed weakly before Ryoma was sliding an arm under his back, gently lifting him as a cool glass of water was pressed to his lips. He drank it slowly, tiny sips of the liquid rolling down his throat.

Like tears.

He finished the water and Ryoma helped him lay down again. Rather, Ryoma laid him back down. He didn't have a choice in the matter. His body didn't want to work for him.

"Where..." He tried to ask, his voice still weak and quiet, his entire body sluggish. Ryoma's dropped a hand into his hair, stroking gently, a relieved yet sad smile on his lips.

"You're home," he said, "And you're safe. You need to sleep."

Why would he need to sleep? Hadn't he been sleeping for so long? He was tired, so tired, so he supposed Ryoma was right as he usually was. He wanted to sleep.

He wanted Leo.

But Leo wasn't here. He realized in horror that whatever had happened in his head had just been in his head.

Leo didn't love him.

Leo wasn't waiting for him to wake up.

Leo wasn't here because he didn't care.

Leo hadn’t been real.

He felt tears in his eyes as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you've gotten here you must realize I'm hinting at kind of a soulmate connection...? I had to split this up into chapters because I couldn't believe how long it got. I'll try and update very soon, probably next weekend.
> 
> I'm pretty sure Ryoma has grey eyes...? Shinonome has rly pretty blue/grey eyes and when you look really closely at Ryoma his eyes are like a dark grey? So I'm going with grey unless it's canon that they're like some other color.
> 
> Any comments or questions are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW so I got this typed up way faster than I thought owo; Enjoy! ;w;
> 
> (p.s. if orochi is ooc it's because I've only ever done Saizo and Jakob's support convos with her and read her wikia page and that's all the Orochi I know oop)

Takumi’s entire body ached and the pain wouldn’t go away. He stayed lying in bed for a week because he couldn’t physically move his own body. He was weak and broken and frail, and he hated it. He had always aimed to be the strong one in his family, stronger than Ryoma, stronger than Hinoka, but now he was no better than an invalid, an elder who needed to be waited on.

What was even worse was that Ryoma seemed to constantly want to be the one waiting on him, staying at his side, helping him eat and drink. Whenever he looked into his brother’s eyes, he only saw guilt and sorrow and _shame_. He had made Ryoma feel that, ashamed and low. He had been so weak that something had taken control of him and used him, and now Ryoma felt guilty for simply allowing the event to take place.

He didn’t even have to say it out loud; Takumi just knew.

It was a fact.

Ryoma insisted that Hinoka and Sakura hold off on seeing him until he was stronger, something ridiculous about him being overwhelmed. The healers were obviously getting into his head, giving his brother the worse possible outcomes for his condition.

The worst possible outcome was probably death, and Takumi didn’t really care about that anymore. He had been asleep, dead to the world, for nearly a month, and the time had drained his strength, his energy, any power he had previously in his body. He thought he had been healing but he had only been dying more and more.

And Leo? Prince Leo had just been some distraction his mind had made up, a way to ease him into death. It disgusted him that he fell for something that easily, a connection with a _Nohrian_ , one of their nobles no less.

He could barely stay awake for an hour at a time in the beginning, but every time he closed his eyes to sleep Leo wasn’t there. He had never been there. It had been an illusion, and he figured when he was no longer so exhausted, the only dreams that would return to him would be his nightmares.

Ryoma was constantly adamant that what had happened to him hadn’t been his fault. Rather, it was the fault of something not native to this world, some sort of spirit or magic that had taken a hold of him.

It had been his fault and he knew it even when Ryoma tried to convince him. He was weak and that was the end of it. Whatever had used him had left him this way, destroyed and ruined, stuck in bed to wither away until he truly died for good.

After a few weeks, the door to his quarters opened to his sister’s standing there and something in his heart reconnected.

“Big brother!” Sakura gasped, rushing towards him where he was sitting up in bed, supported by several pillows. She was at his side in a second, her arms wrapped around him yet he was frozen. For a second that seemed like an eternity in his head, he had forgotten what it felt like.

To be embraced.

To be wanted and needed and-

To be loved.

Slowly, he hugged Sakura back, holding her with as much strength as he could muster because she needed him and he needed it too. She clung to him, her tears falling hot and wet on his skin and into his hair. Her tears felt like fire, like they were burning through whatever cold shell had encased him in the past to reignite his spirit underneath.

He became a bit more whole in that moment, and in the next moment as well when Hinoka approached him. Her face was trying to hard to stay neutral, but her eyes were filled with tears, tears he hadn’t seen Hinoka truly cry for anyone but Corrin.

They were for him this time and they were _glad_.

Hinoka hugged him too, gently pulling him to her chest, her fingers curling in his hair.

“I missed you,” she whispered, her voice rough and quiet, hidden from the rest of the room by Sakura’s sniffles. It was for his ears only and it made his heart ache.

“B-big brother,” Sakura sniffled, drawing her head up from his shoulder, her palms hastily wiping her cheeks, “You won’t go away again, right? P-promise you won’t.”

“I-,” he breathed, his eyes connecting with Ryoma’s across the room where his brother stood, watching them with a smile on his lips, “I won’t go anywhere that you cannot follow ever again, I promise,” he whispered. Sakura smiled then, her eyes red-rimmed from crying but her cheeks rosy with happiness. She giggled softly, still wiping at her eyes, and the sound brought a smile to his lips, a real smile, one he had only smiled recently for- for Leo in his dreams.

Leo wasn’t here though. His family was, and his family was far more important.

They stay at his side for a while into the afternoon. They drank tea together after and Sakura combed Takumi’s hair, weaving small braids into it. He liked the focused look Sakura got on her face as her delicate fingers crafted the braids. The entire environment made him feel as if he was truly home.

“When you’re well enough, the Nohrian royals will visit for my coronation,” Ryoma said from his position sitting at the foot of the bed, “I’ve kept Corrin updated on how you’ve been of course, but this will be their first visit as- allies rather than sworn enemies.”

“You haven’t-”

“Of course not,” Ryoma smiled, “I wouldn’t accept the crown of Hoshido without my entire family at my side. Your health is more important to me than some ceremony.” He said it so easily, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that Takumi had to be with them, at his side when he became Hoshido’s king. Ryoma had put off his birthright as high prince to claim the crown for him.

“You didn’t- you didn’t have to do that,” he choked out, feeling overwhelmed in that moment, all of his siblings’ love in the same room with him.

“Nonsense,” Ryoma huffed, a smile still on his lips.

“Heh, you should’ve seen it, Takumi,” Hinoka laughed, “All mother’s advisers trying to get Ryoma to get a date set for it, and he wouldn’t. Then he just stopped going to their meetings because he knew they’d keep asking. They’ve had invitations to other kingdom’s nobles and dignitaries ready for so long now.”

“It wouldn’t be right without you, big brother,” Sakura murmured, a sweet smile on her lips.

“We should let Takumi rest now,” Ryoma said then, “Come along, Sakura. Takumi’s hair will still be there for you to play with tomorrow.”

“R-right!” Sakura stammered, shyly leaning forward to press her lips to Takumi’s cheek, “I’m really happy you’re okay, big brother.” With that, she followed Hinoka from the room and Ryoma went after them after wishing Takumi well.

Takumi laid back down in the bed because he was finally able to with his own strength and without his arms trembling hard. It hit him then in the quiet peace of his own room.

Ryoma waited to be crowned for him.

Hinoka cried for him.

Sakura missed him so terribly. 

They loved him.

They loved him so fiercely on the same level that he loved them, a level that he never consciously figured was reciprocated. Tears gathered hot and burning in his eyes and he let them fall in a privacy of his own quarters, dampening the pillow under his cheek.

He cried himself to sleep with tears of joy rather than tears of sorrow and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his heart, letting love lost flow in. 

* * *

 

Sakura insisted on having tea with him almost every day, permitting that he was up for it, but it was hard to ever deny her. She also brought books he requested from the library that he could read when he was alone. It was annoying and bothersome to be cooped up in bed for virtually the entire day every day save for when he was helped to the bath, but his sister’s presence made it better and made time flow faster. He still spent most of his time sleeping, his body continually exhausted and drained from the ordeal, but he was slowly gaining his strength back.

Soon, he was able to stand unaided, and after that he did everything he could to speed up the process of getting back on his feet for good. He spent a good twenty minutes every morning stretching, making sure his muscles hadn’t atrophied too badly during the time he was bedridden. He practiced walking in his room when he was alone, constantly pacing the length of the room. He refused to leave until he could walk without the slightest quiver of weakness in his legs. Ryoma urged him constantly not push himself, but the exhaustion at the end of a long day of using the limbs he hadn’t for months made it worth it.

Ryoma sent the invitations for the coronation out the day after Takumi walked himself from his room to have dinner with his family. If they were shocked to see him in the doorway of the dining room, they hid it well and simply accepted the fact that he was once again strong enough to join them.

He still went to bed each night early, usually before the sun was all the way sunk beneath the horizon, but things were returning to normal. He had even started training again to hone his skills.

He trained with a regular bow.

When he had tried to pick up the Fujin Yumi again, memories had flashed through his mind, reminding him of all the hurt he had caused and how he had tried to kill Corrin, to take revenge for her betrayal.

 He knew it hadn’t truly been him trying to do those things, but in a way that made it worse rather than better. A sacred weapon had chosen him, and yet he had been weak enough to allow something to control him and use the weapon for itself. He couldn’t forgive himself for that until he was good again, good enough with a bow that he could get a bulls-eye with his eyes closed.

Yet as much as he ached to be better again, Takumi didn’t want things to return completely to normal. He wanted what he had seen in his dreams and he hated that he wanted that life. He had spent weeks convincing himself they weren’t real, yet every time he closed his eyes to sleep for the night he sent up a silent prayer, a desperate beg for Leo to appear to him again.

It was pathetic.

He was pathetic.

But he was in love. Truly, he was in love with the Leo he had met with countless times in his dreams. He wondered if that was the Leo that would be arriving in Hoshido soon, or would he only meet the proud and arrogant younger prince of Nohr, the younger brother to the girl he called sister.

He hoped that it would be the right Leo, the Leo that had shown concern when he was sad, the one who had swept away his tears and had embraced him so fondly, kissed him so sweetly, urged him to wake up so tenderly.

He refused to get his hopes up though. That would only be foolish and naive. He had outgrown such folly thoughts.

So when the Nohrian carriages roll up to Castle Shirasagi, he pretended his heart wasn’t racing in his chest with the sheer anticipation of the event. He kept his face neutral, his gazed bored if not tired. He was always tired, but better at hiding it now.

“Takumi!” Corrin ran to embrace him as soon as the carriage door opened. He staggered back, quickly getting his balance before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her as well. He obviously wasn’t used to his estranged sister so openly showing her feelings towards him, especially after what he had done to her and her family when he hadn’t been in control of his own body.

He had craved her death, yearned to kill her for her betrayal.

Now though, he only felt sadness and guilt when it came to her, and he didn’t know how long it would take before he could dispose of those feelings, but the least he could do was try and return her affections when she offered them.

“I’m so happy you’re okay, Takumi,” Corrin said, her ruby eyes bright in the dying light of the day, “I was so worried.”

“I apologize for worrying you- sister,” Takumi said slowly, though some of the uncertainty in his mind faded when Corrin beamed at him even brighter at his words. As Corrin moved away to greet her other Hoshidan siblings, he looked up to see Prince Leo standing several feet away from him.

Leo’s eyes were on him, watching him, and when his eyes met Leo’s, he saw the Nohiran prince’s eyes widen before he _felt_ it.

He felt Leo’s response in his chest.

He felt the way a small bit of panic flooded into Leo’s eyes. He could feel the panic and sorrow and desire as Leo looked to the side before shifting his gaze downwards and away. He realized then his breath was caught in his throat and his chest was begging him to breathe. He let out a harsh breath, swallowing quickly to clear the dryness from his throat.

What the hell was that?

He had felt emotions that weren’t his own, emotions he was dead certain had been Leo’s.

Why would Leo feel that why when looking at him? Why would Leo feel _anything_ when looking at him? They didn’t even know each other. They had spoken nearly a handful of words between the two of them. There was no way his comatose apparitions had been remotely real and he had permanently convinced himself of that.

“Takumi,” Ryoma’s voice startled him from his thoughts and he felt Ryoma’s hand press against his upper back between his shoulder blades, “We’re going inside for dinner. Are you feeling up for that? You seem- tired.”

“I’m always tired, brother,” Takumi countered quietly, feeling the way Ryoma’s thumb so gently moved on his back, a miniscule moment of comfort, “But I’m fine right now. Let us go.”

He ended up being seated between Sakura and Prince Leo, much to his chagrin. He hoped he could only speak to Sakura during the meal, but his sister’s attention was easily stolen by Princess Elise, and Takumi didn’t know how he could compete with the young Nohrian princess for his sister’s attention. Leo didn’t make any move to speak to him. He was sitting rigidly as if to avoid even accidentally even brushing Takumi. It was amusing to an extent, but also infuriating.

The first thing Takumi heard from Leo that evening was a huff of frustration. He looked up to see Leo desperately trying to maneuver the chopsticks in his hand. His eyes were narrowed and dark with irritation, and Takumi was almost hesitant to help him if only to see the way his cheeks would puff out whenever his frustration increased.

“Do you want some help?” He offered because he was being a good host and not for any other reason.

“I didn’t anticipate requiring assistance,” Leo huffed, “I assure you I read extensively about Hoshidan customs prior to travelling here.”

“I do not doubt that you did,” Takumi shrugged, “Corrin did tell me that you’re regarded as something of a genius in Nohr, but even geniuses need help sometimes. Here, let me.” He reached out, pausing for a second before he placed his own hand gently over Leo’s own. When Leo’s skin was against his own, he suddenly felt frustration in his own chest, as if it was bleeding from Leo’s skin like warmth, “You- y-you um, need to adjust your grip. Hold this one like you would a pen, and then the second one rests right here, like this,” he guided Leo’s fingers gently, trying to ignore the feeling of Leo’s skin brushing his own and the decreasing feeling of frustration in his chest.

“Ah… Thank you, Prince Takumi,” Leo finally said as he shakily moved the chopsticks, hesitantly picking up a piece of food from his plate, “I… I really appreciate your help.”

“I know,” Takumi smiled before he could think of the words coming from his mouth, “I-I mean, you’re welcome,” he stammered quickly, trying to cover his first statement. He may have sounded arrogant, but he truly did _know_ Leo’s appreciation. He could feel it as strange and insane as that sounded.

He had to figure out why.

Leo only smirked lightly at his comment, turning back to his food with more mobility in his chopsticks.

“If you want, I think we have Nohrian-like cutlery in storage,” Takumi heard himself say because he just couldn’t not speak to Leo. He wanted to speak to Leo. He wanted Leo to speak to him as openly as they had in his dreams. He had tried to convince himself that they hadn’t been real, but with Leo at his side, sitting so close, and the emotions that kept erupting in his body he didn’t know what to believe.

“That won’t be necessary,” Leo said as he lifted his chopsticks to his mouth, “I would not require my hosts to go to great lengths to aid in my comfort. I will become more adept with these soon.”

They didn’t speak for the rest of the meal despite Takumi desperately wanting too. He excused himself from the table early, siting his exhaustion as a reason. He felt Leo’s eyes on him as he left the room, but he didn’t dare look back and meet Leo’s eyes again. His heart couldn’t take it right then.

Instead of returning to his quarters for the night just yet, he headed for the part of the castle he knew Orochi made her quarters. She had been one of his mother’s closest advisers and, even after Mikoto’s death, she still stayed in the castle. If anyone would know what to make of anything he was confused about, it would be Orochi. Hopefully though, she wouldn’t bring up anything embarrassing from his childhood as she was always so inclined.

“Orochi,” he greeted when the diviner answered the door, “Do you have a moment?”

“Prince Takumi,” Orochi’s lips curled into a smile as she held the door open wider, “How nice to see you. I’m very pleased that you’re on your feet again.”

“Yes, well,” Takumi cleared his throat as he entered her room, inhaling the scent of the strong incense Orochi burned in her quarters, “I wished to speak with you about- about something that occurred while I was- unconscious.”

“Of course, Prince Takumi,” Orochi nodded, moving swiftly through her room to sit on a mat on the floor, “Please, sit across from me.”

“I must ask for your discretion on this topic,” Takumi said as he sat across from her, crossing his legs in the process, “This is a very strange predicament I find myself in and I do not wish for my brother nor sisters nor anyone else to know of this situation.”

“My lips are sealed,” Orochi responded, and yet Takumi couldn’t help but doubt her slightly. Orochi tended to be a bit of a gossip when it came to personal affairs, “Please, divulge what is troubling you.”

“When I was- unconscious,” he started, “There were- periods of darkness, and then periods where I- interacted with someone, and it- it felt _real_. I thought it was real for the longest time in my head. I only realized it wasn’t when- when this person told me I was asleep, and when I realized I couldn’t feel touch, but I could feel some sort of- of pull in my chest and even now I- I feel that again. I don’t have any idea as to what it could mean, which is why I’m asking-”

“Which is why you’re asking me of all people,” Orochi finished for him, her violet eyes narrowed slightly in thought, “That is all _very_ interesting, Prince Takumi,” she murmured, “If I may,” she said, gesturing to his hands. He held his palms out to her, forcing himself to relax as she stroked over the lines in his hands, her own skin soft on his own.

Leo’s skin had been soft when he had touched it. He hadn’t been able to feel him in the dreams, and maybe it was selfish that he had helped him with the chopsticks so physically instead of just guiding him with words or ignoring him altogether.

He was selfish and starved for the affection he had felt only in his dreams, and he hoped Orochi could shed some light on that.

“Are you thinking about this person now?” Orochi questioned softly.

“W-why do you ask?” Takumi choked out, resisting whisking his hands away from her in panic.

“I can feel another presence in you,” she said, reaching out to press her hand to his chest, “Yes, there is definitely more to you than just you, Prince Takumi.”

“Do you mean,” Takumi whispered, fear shooting through him like a blade through his chest, “Like, what I was- possessed with before?” He tried to hide the tremble of fear from his voice, but he couldn’t. The notion of being controlled and used and possessed by something that vile again was probably the most terrifying notion he could consider at that point.

He would take his own life before he let something control him again.

“No, not at all,” Orochi soothed him quickly, “There is nothing malicious in you, Prince Takumi, I swear that to you.”

“Alright… Alright,” Takumi forced himself to breathe easy again. If Orochi was certain, he would trust her, “Then what is there? Inside me? What is it?”

“It seems to me that you are, in a way, sharing your soul with someone else,” Orochi said decidedly, pulling her hand from his chest and sitting back again, “From my understanding, you were not supposed to survive the possession that you underwent. Lord Ryoma didn’t think you would survive, and the healers were all in agreement. During the time you were unconscious, everyone was anticipating your death, Prince Takumi. They were just simply keeping you comfortable until you eventually… faded away.” She looked grim as she spoke and the words pierced Takumi’s heart so deeply.

Everyone had been- waiting for him to die?

Had it been that truly hopeless?

“If you don’t mind me asking, Prince Takumi,” Orochi spoke up again, “Do you recall this person of whom you dreamed? Are they someone you could be in contact with?”

“They’re here,” Takumi blurted out before he could help it, “And when we interacted I felt- I felt as I did in my dreams, as if we were _connected_ some how, but I don’t- I don’t see how anything like that could be possible.”

“It seems that it is possible, whether you can understand it or not,” Orochi said, and her voice was as gentle as he had ever heard it, her smile tender, “Perhaps you should endeavor to explore this development with the person with whom you appear to have this connection. I promise you, Prince Takumi, from what you described, your visions were not one-way, and neither are the feelings you experience when in contact with this person. They are as likely as confused as you are.”

“I don’t- I don’t know how to broach the topic with this person,” Takumi swallowed, his fingers curling in the fabric of his robes.

“That- That I cannot help you with,” Orochi giggled, “I’m not a matchmaker, Prince Takumi. I don’t think you would want my intervention in helping you connect with your soulmate.”

“We are _not_ soulmates,” Takumi sputtered indignantly, “That is-! That’s ridiculous!”

“You’re _blushing_ , Prince Takumi,” Orochi cooed, laughing despite his strong frown, “How cute.”

“I’m leaving,” Takumi huffed, standing quickly, “Though I… I thank you for your counsel, Orochi. I am in your debt,” he said softly, willing away the annoying burning in his cheeks, “You have been more than helpful.”

“Ah, Prince Takumi!” Orochi said quickly, standing and moving close to him before he could leave through the door, “I must tell you. When I first read your fortune when you were young at your mother’s request, I kept something from you.”

“What?” Takumi scoffed, “That I would die a grisly, terrible death? Because you almost got that one right.” He knew very well of Orochi’s fortunes, and he knew as well as anyone she tended to be slightly conniving when reading them at times.

“Amusing, milord,” Orochi deadpanned before she smiled again, gently rather than the near-smirk she usually wore, “I foresaw that in your life you would know a great love, one unrelated to your family. You cannot deny fate in any form, Prince Takumi. You may have, in a certain way, subverted your own death through this connection that transpired and your own willpower, but now you are only tied to this fate even more. Good night, milord.” She closed the door after that, leaving Takumi alone in the hallway with his thoughts.

He was suddenly exhausted, too tired after a long day of waiting for the Nohrians, interacting with Leo, and then receiving the information he got from Orochi.

He pondered it all as he walked back to his room. Were he and Leo truly connected as Orochi had claimed? If so, how? There had to be something. He couldn’t deny the pull in his chest, the yearning he felt to be connected to Leo, a physical connection to tie in with the emotional one they already seemed to share.

Did Leo _know_?

Did he even remember the dreams they had shared? Perhaps he didn’t remember and that was why he hadn’t mentioned it.

Or perhaps he was afraid as Takumi was; afraid to delve deeper into the inner workings of their joined hearts.

His mind was still trying to work through everything when he arrived at his room. Hinata was waiting outside the door and he stood to attention when he saw Takumi walking down the hall.

“Prince Takumi!” he called, “I thought you were already in your room,” he grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Guess I’ve been talking to myself for a little while then, huh…”

“I’m here now,” Takumi rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t keep the bemused smile from his lips, “You may go, Hinata. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“If you’re sure, milord,” Hinata said slowly, a hesitant look in his eyes. Ryoma had obviously told him to be even more diligent than usual in his tasks as Takumi’s retainer since he had awoken. Either Oboro or Hinata had been constantly waiting on him, a waste of their time obviously. They were meant to be honing their skills and training to protect him so when they were required to guard his door, they would actually be effective.

“I’m certain,” Takumi nodded, “Good night, Hinata.” He waited for the other boy to bow and watched his figure disappear down the hall.

He needed to be alone with his thoughts and not worried about who would hear him perhaps even muttering to himself.

None of that came to pass in the end, and he fell asleep that night before he could even try and puzzle through what Orochi had said.

He dreamed of brown eyes and soft skin and chopsticks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading again! ;u; I'll try and get a third chapter out soon! Idk if this will be three chapters it will probably be more like 4-5...? No promises but I don't exactly have a plan right now haha oops
> 
> Any comments and kudos are very mightily appreciated thank you so much <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I wrote this so fast? Leokumi literally kills me okay bye 
> 
> things in this chapter: I wrote a 20+ page paper on Rilke's poetry once so pardon me for shamelessly using him for my garbage leokumi (it just gets me v emotional V EMOTIONAL)

While at first the notion seemed that he would have to purposefully seek Leo out for chances to speak with him, Takumi didn’t expect the blond mage to approach him, or rather he didn’t expect Leo to get lost and wander into his private practice glade the next afternoon.

He had been going to the section of wooded area since he was a child. It had been his secret area to practice or read or just be alone. Only Ryoma had ever been there. Only Ryoma even knew the way to find the place. It was rather difficult to locate, hidden away in the brush with a path to it only slightly visible between thick clusters of branches in the woods, and that was why Takumi preferred it.

Yet somehow, by some strange working, Prince Leo managed to find his way into the glade he called his own, and though he would’ve preferred to be cross with the other boy, he couldn’t find it in his heart to even put the feeling together.

He had an arrow pulled taut on his bow when he felt another presence in the glade, but he still let the projectile snap from his fingers, flying to hit a gnarled knot in a faraway tree dead-center.

Better.

Better but not perfect.

It had to be perfect. He couldn’t even think of being part of the Hoshidan army again nor of even lifting up his Fujin Yumi again before he was perfect, strong, capable of not being controlled ever again. He was sure his bow had gathered quite a bit of dust just sitting in a locked room, but every time he even tried to touch the sacred weapon his mind had seared and screamed with horrible images. He saw himself beyond recognition, twisted by anger and betrayal, haunted by past hurt and starved for love.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to use the bow again. It would have to stay locked up and shut away until he had some sort of progeny who would inherit it in that case.

“Did you need something, Prince Leo?” he asked, keeping his voice even as he turned to the Nohrian prince standing in the entrance to the glade. He busied himself while speaking to the other prince; there was no need for Leo to think that he had captured all his attention especially when he had yet to sort out his thoughts on the matter of their relationship. He crossed the clearing and dropped his bow and quiver where he had left some lunch and a book he had started reading. He had intended on spending the entire day in the glade, avoiding the rest of the world as he mulled through the thoughts still swarming his mind. He grabbed up a towel, mopping sweat from his neck and chest. He was only wearing his training garments, his chest nearly bare for Leo’s eyes, and the thought made him more than slightly bashful.

This was the boy he had kissed in his dreams, and the boy he would gladly kiss again if the fates allowed it.

“I didn’t anticipate finding anyone else out here,” Leo finally said, clearing his throat and looking away as Takumi swiped sweat from his skin, “I was just wandering. I have never truly experienced Hoshido aside from- well, from having to invade it…” He said it like he hadn’t had a choice in the matter, and in a way Takumi supposed he didn’t. A tyrant like King Garon had in the past, and would have again, murdered his own children if they didn’t do his bidding correctly. Thinking back on the events that transpired in the war, Corrin and her Nohrian siblings had been smart, but smart at the expense of Hoshidan lives and livelihood, and that still stung.

He knew Ryoma was still mourning Scarlet’s loss. He knew their villages and towns were filled with people mourning soldiers that never came back from battles that seemed so long ago, filled with children waiting for parents that would never return home. Nohr had taken his own father, and then his mother, and then the war had tried to destroy him from the inside out. Every injury caused by the war was still so fresh, still oozing blood. Perhaps Ryoma’s coronation would be the first step to healing the wounds.

“I could say the same,” Takumi said, tossing the towel back down to the ground, “I usually don’t anticipate people finding this place. Truthfully, only Ryoma knows where it is…” The implication was strong in the air between them. How did Leo find him? Why did Leo find him? What compelled his feet to make his way through foreign Hoshidan brush and bristles to find _him_ of all people?

“I apologize then,” Leo said, taking a step back, his body starting to turn, “I didn’t intend to intrude on your privacy.”

“It’s fine!” Takumi blurted before he could help it because Leo was turning _away_ , fading away like he had in his dreams when he had screamed for him to stay, to come back.

He hated seeing that sight.

He hated seeing Leo leave.

“If you’re certain,” Leo frowned, his tone hesitant.

“I’m sure,” Takumi nodded, “I wouldn’t want to be unhospitable. You and your siblings are our guests.”

“As true as that is,” Leo said, walking closer, his boots crunching in the grass and stray twigs, “I know personally the nuisance of having someone invading my personal space. Usually, that someone is one or both of my retainers,” he huffed, rolling his eyes, “If you don’t mind my inquiry, where is your weapon? The one you used in the war?”

He opened his mouth to answer before he stopped short. Why would Leo ask that? Why would he even notice? Surely, while Leo utilized his sacred tome, he must use other tomes as well. Why would it be any different?

“My- my Fujin Yumi,” he said slowly, swallowing around the words, “I find myself unable to use it in my current state. I- I was incapacitated for sometime after the war, perhaps Corrin told you, and I- I can’t… I just can’t use it right now,” he trailed off, ducking his head to hide his eyes in his sweaty bangs. Why was he even telling Prince Leo this? That dragged back to the question of why Leo cared in the first place though.

Why?

_Why?_

He was desperate to know, to just blurt out any number of questions.

_Did you dream of me?_

_Can you feel what I feel?_

_Are we connected?_

_Do you_ love _me?_

Leo would probably think he was some brand of insane, but Orochi had said that the person he had shared the experience with likely remembered it, and likely felt what he was feeling.

So why couldn’t he just ask?

Why couldn’t he force his tongue to form the words and _ask_?

Why couldn’t he leap forward and just hold Leo? He wanted to feel his hands and his lips like he hadn’t been able to in his dreams. Leo had begged him to wake up. Leo had promised to come to him, to hold him and kiss him and-

And now he was here and he wasn’t doing any of those things. Their dreams had been safe, private, and now they were in the real world with the eyes of their people and siblings watching them. There was fear sticking to every breath of air that left their lips. Takumi could feel it. He could feel Leo’s fear, and he hoped Leo could feel his as well.

“That’s troublesome,” Leo finally said after what felt like an eternity, “Perhaps it was something I did.”

“Wh-what?” Takumi nearly choked on his exhalation, “H-how could _you_ be related?” He feigned not knowing because Leo was certainly related. He was related to everything he had become since the end of the war.

“Well, I was the one who struck you down, if you recall,” Leo said then and suddenly it hit him hard, as if he was being hit by someone twice his size, barreled into and trampled to the ground.

His head seared and he gasped out, doubling over and clutching at his forehead, his brain pounded behind his skull. His eyes were open but he wasn’t seeing the grass beneath his feet. He was seeing the bloodstained floor of the Hoshidan throne room. He felt it then, the blow of Brynhildr’s magic that had struck him, throwing him back and to the ground. He had been struggling to breathe, struggling to force his heart to keep beating.

He had been _dying_.

“Prince Takumi…!”

He was dying and he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see or hear or breathe and he was dy-

“Takumi!” The sharp yell of Leo’s voice entered his head and the images in front of his eyes disappeared in a blink. He was on his knees on the ground, panting as he clutched at his head. He squeezed his eyes shut. Everything just seemed so much brighter than the dark images in his mind, making his eyes smart and sting… Or was he already crying?

Leo’s hands were curled around his forearms, holding him tightly but gently, shaking him lightly to bring him back from whatever hellish scape had arisen in his mind.

“Takumi,” Leo breathed quickly, his own voice as panicked as Takumi felt himself, the two mutual feelings combining in his heart. It hurt, but it was real, “Takumi, h-hey… Are you- are you alright? What happened? Can you speak? Come on, just breathe, okay? You’re safe…” Hesitantly, he felt Leo pull him forward to his chest. He wasn’t wearing any armor, just a thin tunic to ward off the heat of the summer sun. Leo was warm and firm and tangible under him, and this time he could feel it. His forehead rested against Leo’s shoulder as he took deep, shuddering breaths, his eyes squeezed shut. He could feel wetness on his eyelashes and cheeks, and his tears dripped into Leo’s clothes. Leo’s hands were on his back, skin against skin, stroking gently, slowly.

It was good.

It was _real_. Leo’s touch was real this time.

“I-I’m okay,” he finally choked out, his throat dry from his hurried breathing, “I’m- I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize,” Leo said quickly, his voice far sterner than Takumi would have expected, “It was my fault. I hadn’t realized you were missing that part of your recollection of the experience. I’m sorry to have put that memory back in your mind. It- You were probably better off without it, seeing how you reacted.” His voice was sad rather than condescending. Takumi could feel that sadness dripping over his very soul. It hurt him that Leo was sad, sad for him, sad for them.

“You saved me,” Takumi finally whispered, his voice cracking and broken, “Th-thank you.” He raised his head from Leo’s shoulder, reaching to wipe tears from his cheeks before he blinked up at Leo with wet lashes.

“There’s no need to thank me,” Leo soothed, a smile on his face, his voice tender. Takumi’s breath caught in his throat, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, “I would do anything for- f-for um… For Corrin,” he finished, and Takumi almost missed the tiny pause in his words before he said their sister’s name in one breath.

Anything for Corrin?

The words echoed in his mind, bouncing around in his skull and he forced himself to look away from Leo, pulling away from him with almost too much force.

“I should head back to the castle,” he said, keeping his head down so Leo wouldn’t have to see the fresh wave of tears glazing his eyes. He stood, too quickly evidentially, and he stumbled forward, catching himself against a tree. His head still pounded weakly, his entire body abruptly weighed down by the aching exhaustion he had felt in the first few weeks after he had woken up.

He wanted to sleep.

It was scarcely noon and all he wanted was to sleep.

Shakily, he gathered up his bow and whatever else he brought with him, refusing to let his body tremble with the strain as he walked past Prince Leo and out of the glade. He couldn’t even look back. He knew that if he did he would be far to angry and hurt and heartbroken to stay quiet.

He heard Leo calling after him, but he ignored him, letting the ringing din in his ears flood his hearing so he wouldn’t have to hear the way Leo was saying his name. He could still feel it though; that was harder to ignore. He was too tired to care in that moment.

Leo obviously didn’t care.

Well, no, that was wrong. Leo didn’t care about _him_. Leo cared about his sister, the Nohrian sister he’d grown up with, not the Hoshidan sister that had been stolen away from their family. Corrin had connected their two families, but it meant nothing. Fate had connected them but, to Leo, it obviously meant _nothing_.

Even if fate seemed to think they were meant to be connected, something had clearly gone wrong, and it made Takumi see red.

By the time he got back to the castle, he was even more tired then when he had left the glade, his increasing anger having contributed to the exhaustion he felt. What made it worse was that Ryoma spotted him on the way to his quarters, supporting himself on the wall because he truly felt as if he was going to topple over.

“Takumi, are you alright?” Ryoma’s voice sounded behind him and he stopped walking, letting out a breath that was more of a heaved sigh.

“I’m fine, brother, just tired.” His voice was small and he knew Ryoma could tell when something was wrong with him.

“Gods, you’re so pale, Takumi,” Ryoma ignored his words, reaching out to press a hand to his forehead, “You feel too warm.”

“I’m fine,” Takumi tried again, but Ryoma clearly wasn’t going to listen to any of his claims.

“Don’t do that,” he admonished, frowning despite the worry still etched into his features, “I can tell when you’re lying, little brother. Come along, let me help you to your room.” He didn’t try and argue again as Ryoma slipped a strong arm around his back, supporting him until they reached his quarters.

“You promised me you wouldn’t push yourself too hard,” Ryoma said sternly as he helped Takumi get settled in his quarters, sitting on the edge of the bed at his side, “I worry about you, little brother.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry if you had just-” Takumi started before he pressed his lips together, looking away from Ryoma.

“If I had what, Takumi?” Ryoma asked slowly, and Takumi hated the beginnings of disbelief in his voice.

“If you had- if you had just let me _go_ like I was supposed to,” Takumi finished, his voice tight with the tears he had been holding in since the forest.

“What has come over you?” Ryoma gasped, his voice raising. Takumi hated the way his grey eyes widened in horror and fear. He hated it, but he knew deep down he needed it because he was loved. It meant he was loved, but that still didn’t seem like enough, not with his heart torn and aching for a Nohrian.

“Orochi told me that- that I was supposed to die,” he whispered hoarsely, “And when I was in the woods just now I- Prince Leo reminded me that he was the one who- who struck me down when I wasn’t myself. I-I remember that now. I was dying then. I knew I was. I should have died. I shouldn’t be here. There’s no _need_ for me to be here.”

“Stop,” Ryoma raised his voice, silencing whatever words could continue out of Takumi’s mouth, “That’s enough of that. I don’t want to hear you speaking like this ever again, Takumi.”

“But why?”

“Because you’re precious to me!” Ryoma nearly yelled and Takumi resisted flinching under the sheer force of his brother’s voice, “You’re precious to your sisters and your retainers and your people! Our people! Our entire kingdom was praying for you to come back to us! It took a miracle, but it _happened_ , and I- I haven’t seen our people so united since before the hostilities with Nohr broke out. It was as if all the effort behind the fear and pain Hoshido has been feeling for years went into thinking of _you_ , and it was a miracle that you came back to us! And as such, I will not allow you to waste your life on thoughts such as these. Understand?”

Takumi stared up at Ryoma, no doubt his eyes wide and shocked at the strength in his brother’s words. He had never felt so cherished before that it hurt him, and right then Ryoma’s love for him actually hurt.

“Please don’t cry, Takumi,” Ryoma’s quiet beg pulled him from whatever pained stupor he had fallen into, and he felt Ryoma’s large, warm hand graze his cheek, brushing away whatever tears he hadn’t realized were even on his face, “Do you want me to request of Xander that Prince Leo remain away from you for the duration of their stay here? I don’t want this happening again. You need not remember anything else of that time. It will only hinder your progress.”

“No,” Takumi finally spoke, shaking his head, “That won’t be necessary. I will be fine; I swear to you.” His voice cracked with emotion but he let it, knowing Ryoma wouldn’t judge him. Ryoma cared so deeply for him, and he didn’t know how he hadn’t realized that until now. If he had died, he would have died thinking none of his family truly loved him, not Ryoma nor Hinoka nor Sakura. If that factor was what lead to him being taken control of, he knew it would never happen again, at least not by that sort of weakness.

“I’ll let you rest then,” Ryoma said with a nod, standing from the bed. He moved to leave the room before he stopped short and caught Takumi’s attention, “Have you not opened this, Takumi?” he asked, striding carefully over to the vanity in the corner of the room, picking up the sealed letter that was tucked into the corner of the mirror.

“Not yet…”

“This is the letter mother wrote to you, is it not?” Ryoma hummed, his fingers tracing over the delicate handwriting on the front of the letter, “I would advise that you read this sooner rather than later.” He set the letter down on the table at Takumi’s bedside before he walked towards the door.

“Did you read yours?” Takumi blurted out before he could stop himself, his fingers curling into the blankets.

“I did.”

“And?”

“And, it was for me,” Ryoma smiled, “And your letter is for you. Rest well, brother.”

He left the room before Takumi could protest, but he was right. The letters their mother had written for each of them were special, private even among siblings, but he hadn’t had the strength to even break the seal on the paper just yet.

He missed his mother.

He missed her every single day. It was a constant deep pain in his heart that had not even started to fade in the short time she had been gone. She had been torn from them and hadn’t even said good-bye. Murder had that effect, he supposed, but if an eye for an eye was ever justified, at least King Garon was gone too.

He knew that King Garon hadn’t been half the person his mother was. She was kind and gentle in her mothering, wise and prudent in her ruling of Hoshido, tactful in her attempts to stop a war from gripping their land. He had felt his very soul darken when she had died, his entire being poisoned with hatred for Nohr.

Perhaps that had been the catalyst, the starting point at which his body was open, vulnerable enough to be taken advantage of and used for malicious intent.

Whatever the case, he knew he was too exhausted, emotionally and physically, to even look at the letter Ryoma had placed next to him. He would read it. He would read it eventually. In the morning, or maybe the day after, but he couldn’t read it now.

* * *

 

            _“Betrayal… I… am… BETRAYAL!”_

Takumi woke up in the middle of the night several days later sweating and shaking, but unable to even pinpoint what he had been dreaming about. It had been something bad no doubt. He could only recall the demonic sounds of his own voice in his head, screaming about betrayal.

His dreams were never good, and even if his nightmares had been lax as of late, it was clear that they would be coming back full force as time went on. He wished he could just have peace. None of his siblings dreamed as badly as he did, and his own mother hadn’t understood why he was so afflicted with nightmares.

He hadn’t seen Leo since the time in the woods. Granted, he had mostly been cooped up in his room reading rather than out training or preparing for Ryoma’s coronation. The ceremony was the next day, and Takumi knew he should get some sleep that night, but after the nightmare his mind was too awake, buzzing with anxiety and fear in the dark.

Throwing the blankets off, he got up and lit a small lantern in his room, sighing at the gentle, orange glow that lit up the space. He felt safer with the light reaching every corner of his room. Without it, there was only the dark. He had had enough darkness for one lifetime. He had earned the right to be in the light, to feel the sun on his skin and not have to dwell in the darkness. He sat back in bed and sighed heavily, busying his hyperactive fingers with detangling some of the knots that had arisen in his hair during his sleep.

The letter stared at him from the table besides his bed.

He hadn’t open it, not even after Ryoma had advised him to.

He should open it. It was the last he had of his mother. It would be a mockery of her memory to not explore the last thing she had given him. Hesitantly, he reached out, picking up the letter with as much reverence as he could put in his shaky hands. His name was spelled out on the front in his mother’s recognizable penmanship, every brushstroke of the ink precise as it spelled out each letter of his name.

It was already too much, but he wouldn’t back down, not now.

He broke the seal on the letter, unfolding it slowly. It was two pages, which was more than he had been expecting. What could his mother possible want to tell him so much that it took up two whole sheets of paper?

_My dearest Takumi…_

His breath caught in his throat at the first words and he folded the letter over again, gasping against the pain starting to arise in his heart.

It was too much. He couldn’t do it. He _couldn’t_.

And yet he unfolded the paper again, steeling his mind and his heart as he started to read the words written out for him.

 

_My dearest Takumi,_

_I'm sorry you have to even be reading this letter. A mother should be there to help her child along until they no longer need such guidance, but I had to leave you too soon. I am truly sorry for that._

_You must know first that you are so loved, Takumi. I know it was always hard for you to see it and believe it, and you try so hard to acquire love that you already have in your heart from those around you. Please do not lose your heart over this. It is your most beautiful asset. You are so worthy of being loved. Promise me you won’t ever deny yourself of that right._

_I want you to know that I always knew you would be lost for a long time in your life. I recognized that in you and it always hurt me to know that I wouldn't be there to guide you all the way. You can guide yourself now though. I have faith that you can. You are in the right place to get lost at this stage in your life, surrounded by your family and your friends that love you so dearly._

_I encourage you, my dear Takumi, to lose yourself as much as you can. Lose yourself in love and anger and sadness. Lose yourself because you learn by finding your way home in the end, and you will grow stronger in that. You are so strong already, but strength can be found in so many places and you have yet to access all of those. Do not be afraid of your weaknesses. They make you human, and the journeys to overcome them make you even more alive._

_I wish that you will be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. You have always been so headstrong, so quick to distrust in others, but I urge you to try and love the questions themselves. You are going to be lost most of your life, questioning most of your life, so try and love the questions, like locked chambers and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers which cannot be given to you because you will not be able to live them._

_And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer._

_Your life will be long and beautiful and filled with love, Takumi, and I am sad to know that I will not see much of it. Just know that love can come from any source, from friends or family, or even those you thought were enemies. You don't choose whom to fall in love with. It is a phenomenon that just happens, and it will never be explained by any sort of reasoning or logic._

_I know that I loved you with all my heart, and if you ever need to find me, read this letter, or look inside yourself and I will be there._

_Mother_

 

He read the letter.

He read it twice in fact because he can scarcely force his brain to comprehend the words written out for him. His mother wrote this for _him_ , just for him, for his eyes only, and it was beautiful. He put the papers aside so his tears wouldn’t fall onto the parchment and blur the ink. He couldn’t ruin it with his tears. Who knew how many times he would have to pick up the papers and read them again and again and again. He muffled his sobs with his hands, pressing his palms to his mouth so no one could hear the wretched and broken sounds leaving his throat.

She loved him.

She loved him so dearly.

Something broke inside of him and it was _good_. Whatever shell had formed around his heart, beaten and cracked by the constant outpouring of love from his siblings finally shattered, and he allowed himself to cry at the feeling.

He was _worthy_ of their love. He was _deserving_ of their love.

He was worthy of Leo’s love.

He wouldn’t waste his life waiting and hoping. That would only disgrace his mother and her memory. That would disgrace the prayers and support his kingdom had for him and the hopes of his siblings.

Ryoma’s coronation was to be the beginning of a new era in Hoshido. It was going to be an era of peace and love and friendship with Nohr rather than hatred and ignorance and war.

Tomorrow would be different.

Tomorrow he would make sure Leo knew he loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza I'm already writing the next chapter (I literally can't stop)
> 
> Thank you for reading as usual <3 Comments and kudos give me life ;w;


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I intended to post chapter two over this weekend that I am posting the last chapter? This ship literally has me writing so much and I can't stop wow.
> 
> I will be writing a short epilogue soon! 
> 
> Enjoy!!! Thank you for reading! <3

Castle Shirasagi was practically bursting with people and activity come morning. Servants and maids were running every which way to finish the preparations for the day’s celebration. Dignitaries and nobles alike from surrounding kingdoms were arriving constantly, flooding into the castle town and castle grounds for the ceremony. The town around the castle had been in the process of rebuilding since the events that took place what seemed so long ago.

The demonic sword Corrin had brought into their nation.

The cloaked man who had slaughtered their mother.

The resounding explosion that had destroyed buildings and shops and _live_ s.

Now though, the town looked almost the same save for the partially complete statue of Queen Mikoto that would replace where the destroyed Dawn Dragon statue once stood. The cherry trees were in full bloom, showering the paving stones in a delicate pink carpet. It was a perfect day for the revival of Hoshido and the ceremony that would take place come noon.

Of course that meant Takumi didn’t intend to leave his quarters until five minutes before noon. While Ryoma insisted he would make a great adviser for Hoshido in the future, he rather disliked talking to people directly about the nation’s affairs. It was exhausting and bothersome, and he had been all too exhausted as of late. It was meant to be a day of celebration and relaxation rather than a chore. Diplomacy and politics made everything a chore.

He woke up only when maids prompted him to, feeling groggy and disoriented after his disrupted sleep the night before. The letter was folded up again, sitting on the table besides his bed, and he had to force his eyes to stop tearing up just looking at it.

This day would be better. He had vowed that to himself. This day would be about change, and that change would be good, good for Hoshido and good for him.

He deserved it. He was worthy of it.

The maids laid out his finest clothes for him, ones he had only worn less than a handful of times in the past. Hoshido hadn’t had much reason to celebrate lately after all.

 The process of getting ready was long and annoying. The maids insisted on combing his hair for him when they all know he preferred to do it himself. It was something about having to look perfect for Ryoma’s coronation. He doubted Ryoma nor anyone else cared if a hair or two was out of place. When they were done with him, his hair felt like silk, each strand gleaming in the light of his room. They tied it up for him neatly, redoing it three times just to make sure it was perfect before leaving him to get dressed.

His robes were complex and bothersome, heavy on his body and tricky to maneuver just right, but just putting them on made him feel a certain way, a surge of pride and belonging flowing through him. When he looked at himself in the mirror, standing up straight and proud in Hoshidan ceremonial robes, he felt like he was a truly prince of Hoshido. He felt like he belonged there. He felt like royalty.

He deserved to feel that way. He was worthy of his title.

There were so many people gathered in the Hoshidan throne room that Takumi could scarcely see the floor, but maybe that was a good thing.

He had avoided the room since he woke up, and even more so after what had occurred in the glade when Leo had dropped just a few words about his possession. Maybe it was good that he couldn’t see the floor. That floor had been stained with blood that day. He had stood on that floor and screamed for the death of his sister.

He had nearly died there.

He was supposed to die there.

But he had also stayed alive there. He’d been connected with Leo there, tied to him forever. He’d been _saved_ there. So maybe it wasn’t all bad, but just being in the throne room put him on edge and made his skin crawl.

When it came time for the ceremony to actually begin, he stood in between Hinoka and Sakura. They were dressed in their ceremonial robes too. Hinoka’s hair was pinned in a way that looked quite feminine, a few flowers adorning her hair to compliment the bright colors of her robes. Sakura looked about the same as Hinoka, the colors of her robes more muted and gentle than the vivid tones of their older sister. The Nohrian royals were at the front of the crowd. King Xander was the most notable of any dignitary there, and his siblings were at his sides.

He couldn’t meet Leo’s eyes. Not now. Not when the room they were in held so many bad memories and the look reflected in Leo’s eyes would no doubt be hurt and saddened by what had occurred between them in the woods.

He would make it better.

He had vowed that to himself on his mother’s memory. He would make everything alright. He would tell Leo everything. He would finally get to love him. His heart ached to love someone, to show the world that he could be loved and love in return. If he couldn’t do that much, then how could he be anything but a waste?

The ceremony was long and boring, not that Takumi would admit that he was anything but entirely enthralled by the process. Ryoma was named King of Hoshido and he reverently rose from his knees, standing to address the masses of dignitaries, royals, and average people spread out before him

Ryoma spoke of the war, of the evil intentions harbored for years in the black heart of a twisted man bent on Hoshido’s destruction. He spoke of the new friendship with Nohr and the budding growth of everything that had been destroyed in the fighting the war brought on. He spoke of their mother and her sacrifice, and how she had loved Hoshido with all her heart and mind and soul.

“And finally,” Ryoma said, drawing Takumi’s full attention as his brother looked back over his shoulder at them for a moment, a smile on his lips and adoration in his eyes, “I am blessed to have my younger siblings, my family, here with me today. Even when it seemed so dark for us, and it seemed so certain that we would- _lose_ my little brother, Prince Takumi, to the injuries he suffered while fighting for our kingdom, the thoughts and prayers of every citizen of Hoshido and our neighboring lands culminated to help him fight for life. For that, I am truly grateful. I would not be the same man I am without my entire family at my side. I would not be able to rule Hoshido as I am ready to now without my sisters and my little brother at my side. I thank you all for putting your faith in me to lead Hoshido through to a new era in our history, one filled with healing and friendship rather than war and turmoil. Thank you for your time and your support in the coming years.” With that, Ryoma dipped his head, bowing to the people spread out before him.

Takumi always admired Ryoma’s ability to humble himself, to bow to people, to use any weaknesses he had as strengths. His own pride was far too strong to ever be as good of a ruler as Ryoma would be, but he wouldn’t at all mind aiding his brother from the background.

The crowds gathered applauded for Ryoma as he rose from his bow, holding out his hand to the people before him, offering them and Hoshido new life, “Come. We shall celebrate through the day. The castle’s town is open to all, as are the gates.”

After that, the festivities started and the crowds started to swarm. Takumi lost sight of Leo in the masses of people even as he tried to keep an eye on him. He was quickly approached by dozens of people he had never met, dignitaries, lords, and nobles who were all so eager to speak to him, to wish him well. It was kind of them, but Takumi’s mind was elsewhere, distracted and yearning for Leo’s attention over anyone else’s.

The less he tried to think of Leo, the more the image of the blond mage came to his mind. He was smitten and completely hopeless, drowning in the endless love he had for the other prince.

Leo had to know and soon. He didn’t know how much longer he could last.

It turned out he had to wait hours to even catch sight of Leo again. The sun was already starting to sink into the clouds by the time he saw Leo standing with his brother and older sister. He guessed Elise was off somewhere with Sakura. They truly had become fast friends in only the few short days the Nohrians had spent in Hoshido. He took a deep breath before he steeled himself, about to start walking towards where Leo was standing when a quiet voice broke his concentration.

“Um, Prince Takumi?” He turned to see a girl standing behind him, dressed in clothes there were more Nohrian than Hoshidan, obviously some sort of noble from the quality of her attire. She was pretty with light brown curls resting delicately over her shoulders, her eyes wide and blue beneath thick bangs, and she was regarding him hesitantly, expectantly, a flush on her round cheeks, “I was wondering if- i-if you wouldn’t mind sharing a dance with me?”

He wasn’t one for dancing. Not because he wasn’t good at it or anything. Their mother had made sure they were adept in dancing from an early age. Dancing was embarrassing. It made him feel exposed, like a nerve, and any second he could mess up, trip his partner, step on a foot, bump into another pair on the floor. There was just too much room for error.

There was also the fact that he knew he should dance with someone with whom he actually wanted to dance. He didn’t want to dance with this doe-eyed girl. He didn’t want to dance with any other woman or man. He only wanted to dance with Prince Leo.

“I don’t-”

“Of course Takumi will dance with you, Lady Abadie,” Hinoka’s voice sounded behind him and he felt her hand on his shoulder in the next second. He resisted groaning at the excitement that lit up the girl’s face. He didn’t want to waste his time dancing with some noble girl.

“Th-thank you, Princess Hinoka!” The girl squeaked, bowing swiftly before she headed to where other couples were dancing.

“If I have to endure this, you do as well, little brother,” Hinoka whispered in his ear, giving him a smirk before she gently pushed him towards where the girl was waiting, easily disappearing into the crowds of people.

“Th-thank you for doing this,” the girl, who had introduced herself with a name Takumi didn’t care to remember, said softly as he took her hands in his own, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“What kind of man would I be if I couldn’t entertain a fair lady such as yourself,” he forced out, going for pleasantries to try and hide the displeasure and impatience in his voice. He couldn’t cause some sort of political scandal when Ryoma hadn’t even been king for an entire day. He danced easily with the girl, his mind occupied elsewhere. He wondered what Leo danced like. He would let Leo lead him for certain. Leo was taller than him anyway. That would be nice. He could imagine the way they would move together, in synch because their hearts were connected.

The girl squeezed his hand hard before she almost stumbled, bringing him back from his daydreams. She seemed to be far more nervous than he was about dancing skills so that soothed some of his nerves. She reminded him of Sakura in a way, shy and sweet, but this girl was almost sickly sweet rather than humble as his sister was, and she was obviously looking for some sort of affection as she leaned in closer to him, her chest pressed to his own, her blue eyes imploring him for a long moment before she leaned up to kiss him.

_No._

No, only Leo could kiss him. He wouldn’t allow someone to steal Leo’s claim away from his lips before he had even a chance to actually feel the other prince kissing him.

He jerked out of the way fast enough that her lips only met his chin, but the moment her lips touched him, his entire body pulsed with rage.

Rage that wasn’t his own.

He didn’t feel angry at the girl, just more than a little put off by the boldness of her actions, but rage and anger and hurt were searing inside his chest. Perhaps it was Leo’s rage. It couldn’t have been his own.

Still, he hadn’t felt a mixture of those feelings since-

Since…

His body spun on the dance floor, working automatically through the dance movements, but when he turned his vision flashed, the entire room darkening around him distorted and blurred at the edges.

_“Betrayal… I… am…. BETRAYAL!”_

_"…Your brother is not gone, sister…"_

_"But that alone could kill him!"_

_“-kill him!”_

_“-kill him…!”_

_"He will die as himself."_

_"I will do it, sister.”_

_“I will do it…”_

He was possessed and twisted and about to die. He was filled with so much rage, such crushing hurt, and immeasurable anger.

“P-Prince Takumi?” He wrenched himself from his visions with a quiet gasp and a heaved breath. His skin suddenly chilled and covered in cold sweat. “A-are you okay, Prince Takumi? I’m sorry if I was- forward…”

“I have to-” he heard himself choke out, his eyes not even on the nameless girl on front of him, “I have to- to go.” He tugged himself free of her hold and ran, shoving through people to get out.

He had to get out.

He couldn’t stay in that room surrounded by people he didn’t know, not with whatever feelings had risen in his chest not even of his own volition. He had to go somewhere private, somewhere no one would see the shameful second high prince of Hoshido completely fall apart.

His chest was searing and he fled from the party, running until his legs gave out from the lack of air entering his body. He fell to the ground and hid himself against a wall in an empty hallway, gasping and choking for air. He buried his head between his knees, curling in on himself to remain small and unimportant. His lungs were starved but he couldn’t breathe in enough. His heart was going so fast he wondered briefly if it would just give out on him, weakened from the stress and fear running through him.

He wasn’t strong enough after all.

He thought his heart had been fortified, but he was still small and weak and alone.

His mother had blessed him with such knowledge and guidance and kindness in her letter to him, and he was still pathetic.

He had wasted her gift, wasted her light.

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry, mother, I’m so, so sorry._

The words kept running through his head, louder and louder until he realized he was sobbing them out loud, choking on the words as his chest hitched and struggled with the very task of breathing in and breathing out.

“Takumi.” His head snapped up at the sound of another person there to witness his shame, but he was only met with Leo’s brown eyes staring down at him, filled with worry and sorrow, brimming with regret. He couldn’t speak. He wasn’t in control.

Leo was.

Leo had all the power in that moment.

He could watch him suffer, turn away from him forever.

He could help him and aid him only to buffer his actions in Corrin’s name again.

Or…

Or he could love him.

In a second, Leo was on his knees in front of him, forcibly grabbing him and dragging him close, wrapping him so tightly and so securely in his arms that Takumi wondered how it could possibly be beneficial to his already tight chest. Leo was in control though so he let him embrace him, yielded to him his entire body.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Leo’s voice was in his ear as the other prince held him close, his words hurried and so frightened, “I’m so _sorry.._. I keep doing this to you. Forgive me. Forgive me _please_. Please _forgive me_ , Takumi!” Leo was begging, desperate and tearful, and somehow that started to soothe his racing heart.

Leo’s arms were so strong around him, squeezing him so tightly, yet he could feel himself calming. He was pressed to Leo’s chest and in that he felt the aching pull inside him stronger than ever before. They were so close, connected by invisible strings that tied their hearts together. He just had to do something. He just had to _move_.

He limbs refused to work, but Leo wasn’t leaving him nonetheless, holding him so close and affectionately at that.

“I-” he managed out, his voice trembling and scared, “I- I forgive you, Leo...”

Leo broke then, a wrecked sob cracking from his throat that resounded within Takumi’s entire body. It was wretched and yet so right. The sound made him somewhat whole again.

Leo’s lips pressed hard to his own and couldn’t stop a new wave of tears from gathering in his eyes.

He could _feel_ it this time.

Leo’s lips were on his own and he felt them, soft and warm, so starved and so fraught with longing.

He kissed back because he could this time. He clutched Leo’s clothes tightly in his fists, whimpering as Leo kissed him and _kissed_ him. His lips parted in a sob and Leo took that too. Leo swallowed all his sounds and licked into his mouth with bruising tenderness, his hands slipping up to cradle his back and his head.

They separated for a beat, but Leo chased after him again, claiming his lips over and over until his breathing was slow and regular in his chest and his heart was steady again.

Leo sagged against him when their kisses grew naturally breathless again rather than panicked and afraid. Takumi could feel how his lips were tingling, burning with the repeated press of Leo’s mouth. Leo was still holding him, wrapped around him, cradling him so close and dear.

“Why… Why didn’t you- come for me?” Takumi finally asked out, still clinging to the other prince in his arms, “I thought you weren’t real.”

“I’m real,” Leo murmured, raising his head from where he had rested it against Takumi’s shoulder, pressing their foreheads together instead, “I swear to you. I’m real. We’re real.” The hall that they were sitting in was dim, but he could still see the fire in Leo’s eyes, the undeniable strength and truth that, yes, this was real, reflected in his deep brown eyes.

“Then why,” Takumi begged again, his voice trembling on the words as sudden sorrow hit him, “Why…”

“I feel your anguish right now,” Leo whispered instead of frankly answering, pressing a hand to his chest directly over his heart, “I feel your sadness in my own chest. I feel everything about you in my heart. I felt it when you finally awoke after so long. I feel it every time you cry. I know when you’re scared or when you feel lost. I thought my heart would give out when we were in the woods and I- I made you that way. I couldn’t believe that I had made you react like that. I couldn’t get through to you, I couldn’t break you out of whatever horrors were in front of your eyes. I didn’t know how I could talk to you if when I did you could react like that. And then I did it again just by feeling jealous at you dancing with that- _that girl_. That was- it was terrifying to know that just by feeling a certain way I could ruin you, another fear to put on top of everything else.”

“You were scared?” Takumi asked quietly. “What were you scared of?”

“ _Everything_ ,” Leo breathed out, his eyes slipping shut for a long, quiet moment before they opened again to meet Takumi’s, “Everything I did. I had- I had essentially brought you back to life. I had connected our hearts unintentionally, and when I finally realized that I- I was _horrified_ with myself.”

“You saved me though. You _saved_ me.” Takumi couldn’t believe that Leo felt guilty over that action. He was alive because of Leo. He was holding onto Leo that very moment because of the boy in his arms.

“I violated you… I took your will and I desecrated it. I stole your _freedom_ ,” Leo said firmly, “I stole your will to choose to live or die and unknowingly replaced it with my own decisions. I carved away parts of you that I didn’t intend on taking, and I felt awful for that. I still feel like I- as if I did something so terribly wrong.”

“But you didn’t,” Takumi tried to argue, reaching up to stroke Leo’s cheek because he could actually touch and feel the other prince this time and he was too eager to, “I’m here now.”

“What if you didn’t want to be?” Leo asked, his voice hoarse, “What if you had wanted to die? What if you had been too spent from whatever was eating away at you to live any longer and I just put your through excruciating pain by keeping you here? What if you had accepted peace?”

“I hadn’t,” Takumi said fiercely. He hated the way Leo was talking, as if everything he had done had been something terrible when it had been exactly the opposite, “I was fighting. I was- I was _angry_. I was so angry that I had been- taken over by something. I wanted to live. I wanted to be with my family again. And if I had died, I would have died as myself because of you. Don’t you _see_?”

“See what?”

“You _saved_ me, Leo.” The repeated words finally seemed to penetrate Leo’s mind then, pushing away the fear and indecision that clouded his eyes. He blinked and Takumi smiled, soft and gentle as Leo’s lips parted but no words came out.

He kissed him again instead and Takumi melted against him. Leo’s lips were gentler the second time, moving slowly against his own as if he was memorizing the shape and feel and taste of his lips rather than quenching a starved need. Takumi figured he was doing the same thing in a sense. Leo’s lips fit perfectly against his own, soft and malleable. Leo tasted sweet when he opened his mouth to him, probably from some sort of fruit at the party going on as they sat in the hall enjoying each other’s lips and warmth.

“I never want to see you holding someone else again,” Leo’s said lowly when their kiss broke, his voice dark on the words, “I feel everything you feel deep in my heart. And when you’re not with me, it hurts.”

“You should have noticed that I didn’t want to be with that girl then,” Takumi rolled his eyes, smiling at the disgruntled look on Leo’s face, “Hinoka made me as some sort of- joke, I guess,” he shrugged, “If you had only listened to your heart you would have felt my complete lack of enjoyment.”

“That’s true,” Leo laughed then, smiling in the low light, “I think you should make it up to me though.”

“How so?”

“I think you should dance with me instead,” Leo whispered, and Takumi felt himself take in a sharp breath at just the thought, “I would eagerly take you in my arms and dance with you as other lovers do on the floor. I would hold you against my chest, feel your heart beating under my hands, and I wouldn’t relent my hold on you to anyone who asked for your hand.”

“Possessive, aren’t you?” Takumi smirked, “You weren’t like this when we were- getting to know each other.”

“We were alone then,” Leo countered, “Alone in our own heads in a world of dreams. You were all I could think about for days and weeks on end. Camilla kept trying to find out who I seemed so smitten with, and I think Corrin was starting to get suspicious with how often I asked her for your status. Now though… Now we’re here, and I have to show the world that you’re mine as I am yours, and I will never let you go.”

“That sounds fair,” Takumi laughed, feeling happiness bubbling over in his chest, filling his entire body with warmth and sunshine, “I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’d love to be yours.” He bit his lip for a short moment before he pressed on, knowing what needed to be said, “I love you, Leo.” The words left his lips in a rush and he felt Leo’s response in his chest, a deep feeling of adoration, affection, and pure love.

“And I love you, Takumi,” Leo said without missing a beat, “I suppose what they say is true then.”

“What’s that?” Takumi questioned softly, leaning more into Leo’s constant embrace.

“Distance truly does make the heart grow fonder,” Leo’s eyes were warm on the words and he leaned to press a light kiss to Takumi’s lips, “I have grown to love you even more in our time apart. I have yearned for you.”

Takumi felt himself flush then under the impact of Leo’s words and his gentle lips. If this was what true love felt like, he knew he never wanted to let it go.

“I suppose I owe you a dance then?” He spoke up, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks at his own words, “We should go.”

“Of course,” Leo pulled his arms from around him slowly, as if he didn’t really want to let go. He stood and offered a hand out, which Takumi easily accepted. Leo tugged him to his feet with ease and didn’t release his grip on his hand once he got on his feet. Rather, Leo’s fingers slipped in between his own, holding to him securely. Takumi found he quite liked it.

He loved him.

They reentered the ballroom hand in hand and easily slipped onto the dance floor. Leo took the lead that Takumi offered, holding him close to his chest as it should be. He didn’t know if anyone was pointedly watching them. He was only watching Leo’s eyes and Leo’s lips, dancing effortlessly because their hearts were connected, bound together by fate’s design. It felt so right, so perfect and Takumi knew he would never go back, not when he finally had everything he wanted.

“I read several lines in a book once in Nohr,” Leo spoke softly as they moved across the floor, “I suppose I never quite understood it until now.” Takumi blinked up at him, squeezing his palm to implore him for more.

“Tell me,” he whispered, smiling at the look that transformed Leo’s face.

‘“ _I want to be a mirror for your whole body,_ ” Leo started and Takumi felt his heart race at the very words, ‘” _And I never want to be blind, or to be too old to hold up your heavy and swaying picture_ ,”’ Leo recited softly, his eyes warm and dark and connected with Takumi’s so deeply he could feel the words flowing over his very soul. 

> _I want to unfold._
> 
> _I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,_
> 
> _because where I am folded, there I am a lie._
> 
> _And I want my grasp of things to be_
> 
> _true before you. I want to describe myself_
> 
> _like a painting that I looked at_
> 
> _closely for a long time,_
> 
> _like a saying I finally understood,_
> 
> _like a pitcher I use every day,_
> 
> _like the face of my mother,_
> 
> _like a ship_
> 
> _that carried me_
> 
> _through the wildest storm of all_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so maybe you noticed this is now a series....?
> 
> I really want to write this again from Leo's POV in Nohr before the events of chapters 2 and 3 take place because I love Leo and I love Nohr and his insight is important to my life so yes I will be writing that v soon after I write the epilogue that will basically be pure fluff of them getting married and stuff wow leokumi
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read this and left comments and kudos! Your comments make me so very happy and I get so excited to read them ;w; <3
> 
> Stay tuned for that epilogue >wo
> 
> p.s. the poem at the end is a section of a larger poem that I absolutely adore from Rilke's Love Poems To God if you were interested! (it's where the series title comes from uwu)


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recall how this was supposed to be a "short" epilogue ;w; It got a lot longer than I anticipated tbh 
> 
> If this is rly bad it's because I'm bad at endings like so bad so maybe just pretend chapter 4 was the ending because that was decent ;3;
> 
> Enjoy the fluff ;u;

Bright morning sunlight streamed through the screens of Takumi’s quarters, slowly rousing him from his sleep. He woke slowly, feeling warm and extremely comfortable buried in his blankets and sheets. It was late, far later than he usually slept. He tended to be an early riser, but getting to laze hours away in bed was nice every once in a while, especially with the warm body pressed against him.

“You’re finally up,” Leo’s voice floated into his ears and he blinked up into the light, smiling up at Leo sitting up against the pillows, “Did you sleep well? You look rested.” Takumi let his fingers caress his cheek before they moved to his hair, stroking the smooth strands slowly. Leo had some sort of fascination with his hair, but it wasn’t as though Takumi minded the feeling of deft fingers against his head.

“Yeah,” he whispered, hearing how his voice was rough with sleep in the quiet peace of the room, “Because you’re here.” Leo smiled then, his brown eyes bright with the late morning sunlight beaming through the window. His flaxen hair caught the light, casting him in a golden glow. Takumi quite liked the look of Leo that way, the bare skin of his chest and shoulders, gleaming with light, “You look like an angel,” he mumbled sleepily, “The light… In your hair, in your eyes, on your skin. It’s beautiful.” He didn’t miss the way Leo’s cheeks flushed lightly and the other boy leaned down to press a sweet kiss to his forehead before pulling him and the blankets surrounding him closer.

He settled his head on Leo’s chest with the other prince’s arms wrapped securely around him, holding him tight and close. He could hear Leo’s heart from where his head was resting on his chest, beating slow and even. Leo’s fingers were in his hair again, stroking gently, tugging free some small knots that had curled into his hair during sleep.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Leo whispered into air in the room, “I’ll miss you every day that we’re apart.” Takumi made a soft sound of discontent and only held tighter to Leo. The Nohrian royals were headed back to their kingdom that afternoon, and Takumi had no idea of when they would be together again. It terrified him to be apart from Leo again. He had only just gotten a hold of him. He had only just started to experience the feeling of being held by him and kissed by him and _loved_ by him.

Now that was going to go away for an unforeseeable amount time even though Takumi wish it wouldn’t.

Their siblings had easily caught onto the nature of their relationship after seeing them dance at Ryoma’s coronation. Apparently, according to Camilla, it was too obvious to see that they were in their own world. Elise had squealed something about Takumi being her new brother and Sakura had stammered out a quiet congratulation to the both of them. Their brothers had made stern statements of approval, Hinoka had started to tease Takumi relentlessly, and Camilla couldn’t stop asking Leo how their relationship was going.

The past few days after the coronation had gone by too fast for Takumi.

He wanted more time. He _needed_ more time.

They had so much that hadn’t even begun to do. Leo had only started helping him use his bow again. With Leo at his side, the horrors contained in the weapon were less severe, muted and dulled by Leo’s overwhelming love. It had been exhilarating to use his weapon again and he had explained in detail to Leo on how exactly it worked over lunch one afternoon.

He had started showing Leo how to play shogi, easily beating him every time of course, but Leo was incredibly intelligent, and by their third game he had already shown considerable progress.

They had spent an entire afternoon in the kitchens once so Takumi could brew some miso soup for Leo to try and so Leo could create his own beef stew in return. Nohrian food was strange, a completely different mixture of flavors and spices that were not common at all in Hoshido, but he found he enjoyed the contrast.

There was so much more they hadn’t done yet. They hadn’t explored the library to it’s fullest. They hadn’t walked long enough in the cherry orchards with only the moonlight guiding them. They hadn’t gone hunting nor swimming together.

They hadn’t lived together as one yet, and Leo’s imminent departure only made the pain of that realization worse.

“Stop thinking,” Leo whispered, breaking him from his saddening contemplations, “I can tell you’re not having good thoughts. Smile for me, Prince Takumi. We won’t be apart for long. We won’t be apart for forever again.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Takumi admitted into Leo’s skin with a heavy sigh, gazing up at him no doubt with melancholy written over his face, “Can’t you stay?”

“I wish I could,” Leo frowned, his own eyes saddened, “But Nohr has a lot of rebuilding to do. Xander needs my help. There are small rebellions in parts of our land that must be quashed. We still need to create an environment that will allow the fertility of the soil to return. Our people hunger and our markets are bare aside from the aid Hoshido has been providing. We need to come back from all the struggles the last years have brought upon us stronger than before.” He knew Leo was right. Nohr was still struggling even after their efforts to end the war. King Garon was gone but the kingdom was still wracked with turmoil. It was selfish to ask Leo to stay here when his country needed him

“Just hold me a little while longer then,” he finally decided, “To insure that I will not forget the feeling of your arms around me before we see each other again.”

“Of course, anything.” Leo held him them and the room fell silent between them, a comfortable quiet that brought peace to his despairing heart. In his heart, he was desperate for Leo to stay, but he knew in his mind that Leo had to go. It was a kind of turmoil that he hated, but hearing Leo’s heart beating soundly in his ear, feeling Leo’s fingers tracing his skin, he knew they could stand separation again. They had done it before after all.

“I’ll write to you,” he spoke up a while later, “I’ll write to you all the time. You will too, right?”

“I would send you my heart if I could,” Leo breathed, “Just to remind you of how much I adore you.”

“I don’t think I need much reminding,” Takumi hummed, leaning up to nuzzle against Leo’s neck, pressing a kiss to the warm skin there, “I already have your heart as you have mine.”

They stayed like that for a while longer and Takumi started to lightly doze against Leo’s chest, lulled by the warmth surrounding him and Leo’s hands on his skin. Eventually, commotion in the halls roused them enough to know that they had to move, to leave the warm confines of the bed in order to get dressed and bid farewells.

Time wouldn’t stop, not even for the two of them.

Leo slipped away back to his own quarters and Takumi already missed him even though he was three rooms away. It already felt like he was gone, and Takumi supposed to should get used to the feeling.

The Nohrians left an hour after noon and Takumi watched with his siblings as their carriages rolled away from the castle. He could still feel how Leo’s lips had kissed him good-bye with such fervor, such burning need and slight aching sorrow.

He wrote Leo a letter that night, sending it off with a currier so that when Leo arrived back home in Nohr it would already be waiting for him.

His bed felt so much larger and less warm without Leo there.

* * *

Takumi ended up writing letters to Leo at least three times a week and he received just as many replies. He wondered if the mail deliverers had gotten sick of them yet, but he didn’t care. The constant contact with Leo kept him feeling alive, like there was something to be striving for in the future, a future with Leo.

The castle was not short of things to busy himself with. He trained himself hard with Hinata and Oboro, and he privately practiced with the Fujin Yumi to gain control of the weapon again. The memories of what had happened to him became less prominent with each time he picked up the bow and channeled the bow string to appear for him. It slowly became his weapon again and he knew he was worthy of being its master.

He spent time with his siblings, more than he had in years. Ryoma constantly sought his appearances at meetings with advisers and politicians. He figured it was Ryoma’s way of pushing him gently into the world of advising. He found he liked it. He had always been adept at tactics in war, but this was different. His job was to help Hoshido be prosperous and grow after the war. There was no more fighting or bloodshed, only rebuilding and friendship through the land and their neighbors. Leo wrote to him often about Nohr’s affairs, explaining that things were going better and looking up for the dark kingdom.

He spent time training with Hinoka even though his sister had slacked off some of her vigorous routines since the end of the war. He never liked pegasus very much. He never took to flying like Hinoka had and she seemed to think that now was the perfect time for him to learn, much to his chagrin. She seemed to pick up on his incredible displeasure after their first airborne ride and instead taught him how to bond with the animals, something he enjoyed far more.

Sakura shyly invited him to have tea with her nearly every day and he always accepted. He had always felt closest to Sakura he supposed, protective over his little sister. She had so few companions that were her own age around the castle that he felt it was part of his duty as her older brother to spend as much time with her as he could. He helped her train with a bow whenever she wanted to. She was shy about her strength, bashful when her own abilities were mentioned, but she had skill in her small form and Takumi liked it when she showed that off.

When we found himself alone, free from the companionship of his siblings or retainers, he read in the library and thought about Leo. It had been a couple of months since the Nohrians had returned to their own kingdom, but every time he asked Leo when they could see each other again, Leo claimed he didn’t know just yet. He knew he and Leo both had duties to their families and kingdoms, but they had a duty to each other as well, to the love that they shared, and each passing day that they weren’t together ached deeply within Takumi’s body. Whenever he felt lonely or sad about their separation, Leo knew. He knew Leo could feel his sadness all the way in Nohr, and his next letter would always be even more affectionate than the last, if only to make him feel better.

It was late summer already and Hoshido was most alive during the time of year. Summer festivals occurred every day, filling the castle town with bright lantern light and hoards of people through the night. He had taken Sakura to one of the festivals because he knew how much his sister loved the sweets that were available at the many vendors spread out, but he had always envisioned that he and Leo would attend the festivals together.

He slept late the morning after he took Sakura to the festival. He had been up late after the event reading a book he had found in the library according to Leo’s recommendation. The sound of the door to his quarters sliding open started to rouse him and he groaned into his pillows, curling up more under the blankets.

“Hinata,” he mumbled, “ _Go away_.” He needed to sleep more and he deserved it too. Ryoma had insisted that there would be no meetings nor work that week so everyone could enjoy the festivals before the heat of late summer morphed into the chill of fall.

“You really want me to go away?” A bemused voice sounded behind him and the bed dipped under him. The voice registered in his groggy mind after a long moment and in that moment a welcome feeling burst in his chest, a feeling sorely missed. Before he could react to the overwhelming love that was consuming him, Leo’s arms had snaked around him and pulled him and the blankets close, “From what you wrote in your letters, I highly doubt you want me to leave,” Leo said and Takumi could hear the smirk in his voice and feel his warm breath against the nape of his neck.

“Leo,” he finally breathed. He craned his head over his shoulder and his vision was filled with the sight of Leo there, smiling at him with warm eyes and his blond hair illuminated by the sun, “You’re here?” He was still half-asleep and his foggy brain needed some clarification as to why Leo had suddenly appeared in his bedroom.

“Yes, I’m here,” Leo whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips, “I see Ryoma made good on his promise to keep my visit a surprise.” This was Ryoma’s doing then, and that made Takumi’s heart fill with happiness that his brother would care for him so much to do something like this. He twisted his body in the sheets, turning so he could face Leo fully, their bodies flush together in the bed.

“I have missed you,” he murmured, leaning up to kiss Leo more fully, smiling against his lips, “How long are you here for?”

“That-” Leo breathed, returning his kiss slowly, “-doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that I am here at your side, agreed?”

“Mm, yes, yes of course,” Takumi sighed, letting his eyes slip shut as Leo started kissing him deeper, a hand cradling his jaw with the tenderness Takumi had sorely missed. He had missed everything about Leo. From his slow kisses to his gentle touches, he had missed everything, and he knew he would spend however long Leo was in Hoshido for relearning him over and over again.

They stayed in bed well into the afternoon, simply talking and enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually, Takumi’s hunger forced him to get out of bed and get dressed for the day, but he walked hand-in-hand with Leo to the room where their siblings were waiting for them for lunch. Only Elise had accompanied Leo to Hoshido this time - Xander and Camilla had stayed in Nohr to tend to all the politics at hand. Takumi heard Elise’s loud chattering before they even reached the room and he smiled, knowing Sakura had truly bonded with the Nohrian princess and would appreciate her presence.

“Big brother!” Elise squealed when Leo came into the room, “I was wondering where you went! You ran off to see Takumi so fast I completely missed you!” She pouted, but there was teasing light in her eyes. She was easily distracted from the two of them when food was brought to the table and the room dissolved into independent conversations.

It was quaint and it was home, Takumi found himself thinking, surrounded by his family and the boy he loved. He wished that some day soon every day could be like this, warm and bright and filled with happiness.

That evening, Takumi failed to convince Leo he should wear a traditional Hoshidan yukata to the festival they were attending. He figured Leo would look out of place in the clothes since the image of it would be so new to his eyes, but he would look even more out of place in his Nohrian attire. Leo had flushed and crossed his arms petulantly, declaring he would rather not wear something that revealing in public. It was cute and Takumi took the blush on his pale cheeks as payment for his refusal.

They headed to the festival with hands intertwined anyway no matter how strange Leo looked in his clothes to the Hoshidans bustling about.

“I have never seen Nohr this alive,” Leo commented as they walked through the streets, “We don’t have celebrations like this. Rather, the underground is the only place comparable, and down there people are just trying to make lives for themselves.”

“Things will change for the better,” Takumi finally responded after a moment, squeezing Leo’s hand in his own, “Things had been better have they not?”

“A bit,” Leo shrugged, “I scarcely remember a time when Nohr was truly alive. It has been in the dark for so long, and I worry for Xander. He is working far too hard… But enough on that,” he shook his head, “I just wish to enjoy you and your company at my side for the entire night and the days to come.” He smiled then, his eyes catching the orange light from the lanterns hanging off every stall around them.

“I will not protest to that,” Takumi smiled back, tugging Leo’s hand a bit to pull him to yet another food stall that caught his eye. There was so much to show Leo, too much for one night, but there was always the next day and the day after that. Leo hadn’t given him a certain date of when he would go back to Nohr so Takumi decided to treat his visit as if he would be there forever. It was a comforting thought. Not having to worry about when Leo would leave again took some of the sadness from his heart and replaced it with a calm feeling of serenity and peace.

“Perhaps we should go somewhere quiet now,” Leo suggested lightly after several hours of browsing through the many stalls spread out through the castle town.

“Oh, alright,” Takumi agreed easily, his eyes narrowing a bit at Leo’s sudden suggestion. He could tell Leo was getting more nervous the longer than they spent together and he couldn’t really figure out why, but he led the other prince to a quiet area of the castle grounds surrounded by cherry trees. The trees had long since shed their pink petals and some of their leaves were already starting to turn to bright yellows and oranges in preparation for the coming autumn.

“The um… The festivals can get kind of overwhelming, huh? With all the people and everything,” Takumi said softly, squeezing Leo’s hand before he looked up to catch his eyes.

“What?” Leo said, seemingly distracted by something else, “Oh, no it wasn’t overwhelming. I quite enjoyed it,” he smiled, stopping their slow walking, “I just- wished to be alone with you for a little while.” Leo reached for him then, cupping his cheek gently in his palm, his thumb stroking slowly over his skin, “I would have it that we were alone all the time if I could,” he murmured, “I am far too enamored with you, my dear Prince Takumi.”

Takumi felt his cheeks growing hot under the effect of Leo’s words, but he leaned into Leo’s palm on anyway, “We’re alone now,” he said softly, “Just me and you.”

“Yes, which is why I wished to discuss something with you, or rather, I wished to tell you something,” Leo said, his own cheeks suddenly redder than before, a nervously shy look in his eyes, “I- I have something for you.” His hand slipped from Takumi’s cheek before he reached into his pocket, taking Takumi’s free hand and pressing something into it.

“This is-” Takumi whispered, uncurling his fingers around the delicate gold band resting in his palm, “Leo, I-”

“B-before you say anything-!” Leo blurted, his cheeks having turned a bright red, “We um… We don’t have to get- _married_ anytime soon, if not ever if you don’t want to! I just… I just wanted to give you something physical, to show you that- that I would always be there, that we would always be each other’s alone. It’s- it’s a promise that I will never let you be sad or lonely, and I will love you forever if you let me…” He trailed off, his face dyed a deep crimson but his eyes were still connected with Takumi’s, blazing with a fire Takumi had never seen there before.

“I- o-of course I’ll accept this,” he whispered out, his voice hoarse with shock, “Will you… Will you put it on for me?” Leo gave a shaky nod before a brilliant smile spread over his lips, and Takumi couldn’t help but smile too despite the burning in his cheeks. He let Leo carefully slide the ring on, admiring the snug feeling of it wrapped around his finger.

He reached for Leo just as Leo reached for him, holding him close and tight against his body. Leo kissed him then, stealing the breath from his lungs and he let him. He would give Leo everything and anything just as the other prince would do for him. He could feel Leo’s love burning deep inside his chest, overflowing from his heart to spread to his entire body.

Everything was right in that moment; the gold band around his finger, Leo’s lips on his own, his arms wrapped around Leo. Everything was right and so real, and it would continue to stay that way forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this fluff before I start to write the leo side of this fic and bring the pain y'welcome folks
> 
> Thank you for reading this whole fic through I honestly cannot believe I published it so fast? Omg it's crazy this ship has me writing so much. Thank you for all the comments and kudos omg your comments are all so sweet and nice and I get so excited when they boop into my email ;;;w;;;
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you and I hope to see you on the flip side (aka the second part of this series wow I'm lame)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at carbonfootprintao3.tumblr.com uwu


End file.
